Killing Hijikata Slowly
by Microwaves
Summary: When their home is deemed unsafe for them, a brother sends his sister off to Earth and hires the Shinsengumi to protect her. Okita x OC. Rated T for Hijikata-Language.
1. Life Is Like A Box

**DISCLAIMER**_** FOR THE WHOLE STORY: I do NOT own Gintama and never will :(**_

**Attempt One: Life Is Like A Box Filled With Wrapping Paper!**

It was an _unusually _rather calm, and peaceful morning at the Shinsengumi HQ. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and best of all, Hijikata and Okita weren't at each other's throats. At least not _here_, they were out on patrol. Yamazaki smiled. This was his chance. He could finally practice playing badminton without the Vice-Commander cursing/injuring/mentally scarring him. But right when he was just about to take out his racquet-

"Yamazaki! What do you think you're doing!" yelled an angry and tired Hijikata.

Yamazaki froze and slowly moved his gaze onto his superior, who was only standing a few feet away from him outside of the HQ. "V-Vice-Commander… I didn't think you'd be back so early.."

Hijikata walked up to the black-haired male, and smacked the back of his head. "No fooling around on the job!"

Yamazaki stumbled forward a little from the impact. "Sorry," he muttered. He rubbed the back of his head gently. _What am I, a dog?_

"Oi… Hijikata-san," a monotonous voice came out from behind them. "Are you abusing your authority again?" The brunette brought a hand up to his mouth and feigned a gasp.

The Vice-Commander closed his eyes and rubbed his temple in exhaustion. "Shut up, Sougou." Clearly, he wasn't in the mood to deal with the both of them. Their patrol around town didn't exactly go as smoothly as it should have. A kid tried to steal a few dollars from his pockets (and succeeded), a few old ladies thought he was stalking them so they beat him with their canes (Okita watched and laughed), and then a pyro-maniac blew up his new, shiny police car (which he had just spent hours polishing before). Yeah, great morning.

"Yamazaki," Okita put his hands in his pockets and walked up to the black-haired man, "Maybe you should take up a more manly hobby."

Yamazaki grabbed his racquet and pulled it to his chest. "But its... cool." His eyes sparkled.

"Definately not," Hijikata and Okita dead-panned.

Yamazaki frowned, and was about to abject when the door bell suddenly rang.

Hijikata pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Sougou take care of it!"

"Of course, Vice-Commander," Okita turned to Yamazaki, who was still rubbing the new, bright red bump on his head. "Yamazaki take care of it."

Not really in the mood to argue, Yamazaki sighed and stalked off towards the door, leaving Hijikata and Okita behind.

Then suddenly, Okita unsheathed his sword and swung it at Hijikata, who ducked just in time before his head was chopped off.

"Sougou, what the hell are you doing?" Hijikata shouted, running a hand through his hair. He then grumbled when he saw that some of his 'precious' locks got cut from the attack.

"Sorry, there was this fly…" Okita trailed on.

"Screw you!"

* * *

><p>Yamazaki, finally reaching the door, opened it revealing a young man who looked to be about his age. "Can I help you?"<p>

"Ah, yes." The man pulled out a clip board and a pen from his pocket. "You have a delivery. Just sign here..."

_Delivery? _Yamazaki looked behind the man, and over to the gate where a huge package lay. "Uhm, what exactly is it?" He eyed it.

The delivery man shrugged and adjusted his red cap. "Hey man, I just deliver them." He then handed Yamazaki the clip board. "Sign." the man said, holding the pen out.

Yamazaki hesitantly took the pen from the man and signed the paper. "There."

The young man took the clip board and with that, he walked away.

As the delivery man was leaving the HQ, Yamazaki stepped out of the door way, and walked up to the front gate. There, right in front of the large brick walls, was a huge brown box that was possibly almost as tall as him. As he walked closer to it, he noticed there were holes scattered around the top of it.

_Holes? ...Is it an animal? _He thought. He brought his hands up to the tape on the top of the box, ready to peel it off. Then, as a painful reminder of him 'not doing his job', the now-swollen bump on his head started to ache.

Yamazaki grabbed his head, and kneeled down beside the large box. _Bad sign! Bad Sign-_

"You asshole!"

Yamazaki quickly looked behind him and saw Okita swinging his sword at Hijikata. _There they go..._ he sighed. Everyday it was the same. Those two would always fight and fight and fight... and, well, you get the point. And somehow, Yamazaki always found himself to be in the middle of it. And now those two, like it was their daily routine, were at it again.

"Why do you keep attacking me?" demanded Hijikata, who was running away from the brunette.

"There's just so many flies today," Okita said. He lunged his sword at him again.

Hijikata kneeled down and was able to dodge the sharp weapon, just barely, for the umpteenth time.

As both neared toward the large brown box, Yamazaki backed away, not wanting to get sliced up by the 1st Captain's sword. The last thing he wanted was to have his limbs cut off by Okita. Okita could be pretty ruthless. And on top of that, he was a sadist too. Yamazaki grumbled at some of the bad memories he had with him.

Okita swung his sword over his head, and thrusted it down towards Hijikata. The Vice-Commander narrowly escaped the oncoming attack, which led to Okita accidently slashing the box open instead.

But when Okita was about to start attacking his superior again, a soft groan came from behind them. The brunette halted his movements. Then the boys all exchanged glances at each other before peering into the box.

"...Hmm, there's nothing in here but a bunch of wrapping paper," Okita looked at Hijikata. "Maybe it was a ghost."

"Heh, you still believe in ghosts?" Hijikata shakily took a drag of his cigarette.

"Are you okay Hijikata-san? You look pale."

"I am NOT scared!"

"I never said you were."

"Why you-"

Yamazaki let out a feminine, high-pitched squeal and fell back onto his butt. "T-Th-There…h-h-h-hand…" He pointed to the box.

"Tch, what nonsense are you spouting this time?" Hijikata mustered up his bravery, grabbed the sides of the box and stuck his head in.

Okita clapped at his supposed bravery, and secretly hoped there was a bomb in there that would blow up his superior. And then finally, finally, he could replace him as Vice-Commander. The things he would be able to do...

A hand shot out of the wrapping paper, and grabbed one of the edges of the box Hijikata's hands resided on. Another groan came from the box.

Hijikata paled, then promptly fainted to the ground.

"Wah! It's a zombie!" Yamazaki shrieked as the other hand extended out of the box. "I never thought it would actually happen! It's the zombie apocalypse!" Yamazaki's hands flew up to the sides of his face while he screamed and then he quickly fled from the area.

Okita, unfazed by his surroundings, poked (kicked) Hijikata with his foot. "Interesting." Okita looked back at the box, where a girl suddenly rose from the wrapping paper, scratching her head lightly.

"Whoa... this could not get anymore weird..." She looked at her surroundings. "This feels like a scene from a movie!" Her eyes wandered for a moment, and then landed on Okita.

The brunette boy just stared at her.

"...Why, hello there... handsome." The girl awkwardly winked, trying to strike up a conversation with him.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, theres the first chapter. <strong>This is also my **_first_**story. Yipee :D! And I **apologize** if this chapter isnt to your liking. At the very least, please read the next few chapters :o. I promise **it gets better**. Well, at least I think it does...

And anyways, _because_ this is the first story i've ever written, i'd really appreciate it if someone could write an honest review. **PLEASE**, I want to know how I can improve my writing. **If you like it,** tell me why. **If you hate it**, tell me how I can fix it. **Flames** are ALWAYS welcome.


	2. Ruin His Beauty Sleep

"Whoa... this could not get anymore weird..." She looked at her surroundings. "This feels like a scene from a movie!" Her eyes wandered for a moment, and then landed on Okita.

The brunette boy just stared at her.

"...Why, hello there... handsome." The girl winked trying to strike up a conversation with him.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Two: Ruin His Beauty Sleep Or Prepare To Get Bitch-Slapped!<strong>

Hijikata twitched. He felt a blanket on top of him, and guessed he was in his room. Still unable to open his eyes, he started to get lost in his thoughts a bit. He couldn't really remember what had happened to him. The only thing he knew was that he blacked out in front of that bastard, Okita. Then he heard voices around him, familiar ones.

"Look, he's drooling!" someone said. Hijikata was unable to recognize the voice. It sounded pretty feminine. He twitched. ...Why would a _girl_ be here?

"I can't.." a shaky voice rang out. Definately Yamazaki, he thought.

"Just let me do it."

_What the- _Just before he was about to open his eyes, a bucket of cold water was poured all over his face. Hijikata sprung up from his pillow, enraged.

"-the hell! Who did that?" he demanded, as he wiped away the water droplets on his face with his sleeve. He glared at the people before him, clearly wanting an answer.

"Nooo! He woke up!" She sighed. "Oh well, at least I got some funny pictures of him drooling." The girl looked at the picture of Hijikata she took on a camera she found laying around in his room.

"Let me see." Okita leaned over towards the girl to get a better look at the picture.

"Give me that!" Hijikata snatched the camera away from the girl, and quickly deleted the pictures.

"Nooooo! I could've sold that to someone!" the girl exclaimed, holding her arm out towards the camera in a dramatic fashion. "The money I would've made…"

"Wait, who even _are_ you? And what are you doing here?" Hijikata looked at her. She had dark brown hair and bright blue eyes. She also wore black rimmed glasses and a light blue dress that hugged her short form. Hijikata also guessed that she was either sixteen or seventeen.

She pushed up her black-rimmed glasses and parted her lips to speak, but then Okita cut her off.

"She came in that package," Okita handed Hijikata a note. "This was in it too."

The girl frowned. He was lucky he was handsome, otherwise she would've popped him one for cutting her off. Thats what one of her brothers taught her from back home. If someone does something you don't like, hit them right between the eyes. ...Okay, maybe they didn't say that, but whatever. And actually, she wasn't that strong to begin with, so she doubted her punches would even really hurt him.

Okita noticed the girl pouting at him and blinked at her.

Hijikata, finally opening the note, scanned over it.

_**Take care my dear little sister.**_

_**P.S. I've already contacted Matsudaira-kun so don't you little ones worry about it~.**_

_**P.P.S. Good luck. And I suggest you carry a tylenol or motrin around with you. She'll give you headaches.**_

_**Sincerely, A Lovely Older Brother.**_

"You've got to be kidding me," Hijikata muttered. He put a hand to his forehead. This was probably one of the last things he need right now. _That, _and Okita replacing him as Vice-Commander.

The girl, who now introduced herself as Isa, whispered over to Okita. "What's his problem?"

"Ah, it must be that time of the month for him," Okita whispered back.

"Isn't the Vice-Commander a guy?" Yamazaki asked, joining their conversation.

Isa inspected Hijikata a bit. "Now that I really look at him, his hair does seem to be a bit too silky for a man."

Yamazaki sweat-dropped at her. "I don't think that really matters though.."

"Oi! What're you three doing?" Hijikata glared at them.

"Nothing," they all said simultaneously.

Hijikata looked unconvinced, but decided not to press on the matter. He sighed, "Whatever."

"Hey, if you keep scowling, your face can permanently stay like that. And trust me, I know a guy..." the brown-haired girl rubbed her chin in thought. "Or was it a woman..."

A vein popped on Hijikata's head. _Remember, you DON'T hit girls Toshirou..._

"See," she gestured over to Hijikata, "That's the one!"

Okita put his hand up to his chin, and inspected Hijikata's face, "I see what you mean."

"Sougou!"

Before both could start arguing, Yamazaki asked, "What's that?"

"What's what?" Isa gave him a look of confusion.

"_That_." Yamazaki pointed to her back side, where something seemed to be poking out of her light blue dress.

Isa looked behind her and muttered an "Oh," in understanding. "It's just my tail."

"Tail?" Hijikata asked.

Isa nodded. "Didn't you notice my ears?" She pulled her hair up so they could see them. They were small and pointy. "I'm a demon."

"Demon?" Yamazaki and Hijikata paled.

"Hmm," Okita tugged a bit on Isa's ears, which caused her to make a small yelp. "It's kind of fun."

"Hey, not so rough!" Isa winced a little.

Okita ignored her comment and turned to Hijikata. "Maybe she was really sent here to haunt you instead." Okita suggested.

"Tch, shut up." Hijikata rubbed his temple again. He was starting to get a headache...

Okita shrugged and continued playing with Isa's ears. Then he abruptly stopped harrassing her, and turned to Hijikata. Isa gave him a questioning look, while rubbing her now reddened-ear.

"That reminds me, Yamazaki was the one who poured water on your face, Vice-Commander." Okita pointed to Yamazki, who seemed genuinely shocked by the accusation made by the younger male. "He also was the one who drew on your face a couple of nights ago."

Hijikata growled and rubbed his forehead at the memory. He didn't even realize it until Kondo and the rest of his squad started laughing and taking pictures of his face. Some 'friends' they were. Correction. They weren't his friends. They were the pain in his backside that he had to face with for years.

Yamazaki started backing away, holding up and waving his hands in front of him. "But wait! I didn't do it, I swear! It was Oki-"

Hijikata ignored him, and smacked Yamazaki's head with his back hand.

_Why me?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN**_

Just in case..

Isa = _e-suh_


	3. I Bet You Wish

Yamazaki backed away, holding up and waving his hands in front of him. "But wait! I didn't do it, I swear! It was Oki-"

Hijikata ignored him and smacked Yamazaki's head with his back hand.

_Why me?_

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Three: I Bet You Wish You Were The Uphone 4S!<strong>

"Hey…" Isa poked the sleeping Yamazaki, who was curled up into a ball, covered in his blankets. Isa thought he resembled a caterpiller in a cocoon. So, she took a picture with another one of Hijikata's cameras, and planned to ask someone later if they thought so too. Plus, he looked like a cute, little boy! Who wouldn't want a picture of a cute little boy?

Yamazaki shifted a little, and lifted his head from his pillow. "Isa? What are you doing here?" he asked. Yamazaki rubbed his eyes, trying to stay awake. "What time is it?"

Isa gave him a thumbs up and smiled. "Eleven-thirty!"

"Oh, crap..." The black-haired male's head slumped forward. He woke up late. _Again_. Lucky for him though, the Vice-Commander and Okita were back out patrolling today. If Hijikata was here… he shuddered at the thought. He did _not_ want to get smacked around like a rag doll again. He could still feel the bump from yesterday on the back of his head.

Isa grabbed his sleeve roughly, snapping him out of his muse, and pulled him out of the room. "Hey, where are we going?" he asked. He almost tripped a little while he struggled to keep up with her.

"To town," she said. "How do you expect me to get by if I don't even have my own daily necessities?"

"What kind of necessities?"

"_Pads_ man, I need _pads_!"

Yamazaki blushed a bit and stuttered, "B-But the Vice-Commander told me you're not allowed to leave HQ."

Isa stopped walking and put her hand up to her chin. "Well, as long as we come back its fine, right?"

Yamazaki frowned. "…I guess but-"

"Great! Let's go!" she said, pulling on Yamazaki's sleeve again.

"Hey! Can I at least get dressed first?"

* * *

><p>Hijikata trapped the man they had been chasing for the last twenty minutes between his legs. "Sougou, hand-cuffs." He reached his arm out to him.<p>

"What's the magic wor-rd?" Okita monotonously drawled out from beside him.

The man who Hijikata was holding down stifled a laugh. It wasn't everyday that you got to see two Shinsengumi members acting like children.

Hijikata twitched. "Don't screw with me."

Okita sighed. "I didn't realize you were still on _it_," He then handed him the cuffs Hijikata so _kindly_ asked for. Okita looked back at him. "And you know, that's a very provocative position you're in."

The Vice-Commander snapped his head up. "What?"

"Nothing, you're just imagining it."

"Hey," the criminal looked at Hijikata, who was currently walking him to the car. "Are you positive you're a man? Sure, you kind of sound like one and you're a bit muscular but, your hair is a tad bit too silky-"

Hijikata smacked the man's head against the police car, and put him into the back seat. "I'm definitely a man!" he pulled out a cigarette, "But if you must know, I lather conditioner in my hair, and let it sit for two minutes."

"What a great tip, Vice-Commander." Okita chimed in. "It's good to see you embracing your feminine side too."

"Sougou…" Hijikata growled.

Okita rolled his eyes. And when he was about to open the door to the front seat, something caught his eye. More like _two_ somethings that were hauling around a load of shopping bags. "Hijikata-san, isn't that-"

"Yamazaki!" Hijikata shouted. He stomped angrily over to his junior, who was still being dragged by the brown-haired girl.

The two stopped dead in their tracks at the voice, trying to come up with possible excuses they could use in their heads. The angry Vice-Commander advanced on them. Maybe they hadn't that all of this through enough. And Hijikata _did_ look like he was about to murder them in the worst ways possible.

Isa cupped a hand around her mouth. "What do we do now, Yamazaki-kun?" she whispered.

Yamazaki slapped his palm against his forehead. "I _knew_ this was going to happen…" Why didn't he stay home? This whole situation could've been easily avoided if he did.

Isa put on a serious expression. "Yamazaki-kun, we can't give up! Survival is the key!" She curled her hands into fists, and looked up into the sky.

"What are you even talking about?" Yamazaki sweat-dropped. "And why are you acting like this is a scene from a movie?"

"Quiet, Yamazaki-kun! I'm trying to think!"

Thinking God was giving her advice, a voice suddenly whispered in her ear, "Run."

Isa gasped. "Why didn't I think of that? Hey Yamazaki-kun, I just got an idea!"

But it was too late. Yamazaki was already being yelled at by his superior. She also made a mental note that Hijikata liked to hit before scolding. And I mean _really_ hit.

_Oh well… _About to ditch Yamazaki and make a run for it, Isa turned around, but came face-to-face with Okita instead.

"Okita-kun? When'd you get here?" Isa tilted her head to the side, but blushed a little at their close proximity.

Okita shrugged and was unaware of how close they were. "I have my ways."

"And you." Hijikata now turned to Isa. "What were you thinking leaving HQ? We're supposed to protect you!"

"Sheesh, I just needed to buy some things for myself. And I brought Yamazaki-kun along, so there was nothing to worry about." Isa _pfft_ed.

"But Yamazaki can't do anything." Okita said, pointing to the older male, who was lying on the ground, clutching his stomach. That kick from Hijikata was really something...

"H-Hey.." Yamazaki croaked out, finding Okita's statement offensive.

"Hmm, it seems that way." Isa lightly kicked Yamazaki with her foot. "Oh, and look what I bought! Yamazaki-kun says it's called a 'cell phone'." She held out the small blue device so they could see it. Isa didn't have these 'cell phones' on her planet. So when Yamazaki first introduced it to her, she thought it was one of the most amazing things shes ever laid eyes on.

"Is that the new Uphone 4S?" asked Okita. He gazed at it with a twinkle in his eyes. "I hear it's indestructible."

Isa wagged her tail, almost like a dog would, happily. "Yup! This puppy has already been run over twice by a car and it's still in perfect condition!" She rubbed the phone to her cheek, admiring it.

"Wait, where the hell are you getting the money to pay for all this stuff?" Hijikata gestured to one of the many bags still looped around her arms.

"..." Isa nervously looked over to Yamazaki, who was now sweating profusely. They really weren't going to make it out alive at this rate.

Hijikata twitched, knowing where this might be going. "Well?" he asked in a stern voice.

Isa fidgeted with the hem of her skirt, and pushed the middle of her glasses up. "Ha ha," she made a shaky laugh. "I mean-who really keeps their money under their pillow.."

Hijikata's gaze on her darkened considerably and was suddenly surrounded by a dark, evil aura. "You. Went. In. _My._ Room?"

Okita quickly took this opportunity to leave the area while they were talking, before chaos ensued. He also made a mental note of where he could find Hijikata's money for future use.

"Uh…no?" Isa put on a half-smile before she ran off after Okita. "Good luck, Yamazakii-kuuunn!" she yelled back at him.

Yamazaki paled. _I should've never left my bed_, was Yamazaki's last thought before Hijikata beat him to a pulp.


	4. EXTRA! What Goes On In Texts

(Before we start, the italics are Isa's messages and the regular bold ones are another's)

**Attempt 3.5 EXTRA: What Goes On In Texts, Stays In Texts!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yamazaki-kun, you know who Shinohara is, right?<strong>_

**Who?**

_**You know, the guy who is always shitting on me…**_

…**He's doing what?**

_**HITTING! THE GUY WHO IS ALWAYS HITTING ON ME! Stupid auto-correct :c**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hijikata-san! You left your phone outside<strong>_

_**Hellooooo?**_

_**HIJIKATA-SAN!**_

_**ANSWER!**_

_**Oh wait..**_

* * *

><p><strong>I'm bored..<strong>

_**Wanna bang?**_

**...**

_**I MEANT *HANG! OMG OMGG SORRY OKITA-KUN!**_

**It's okay, you just made my day from worse to better in 10 seconds.**

_**YOU'RE MY NEW BEST FRIEND:)**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Omg my mouth hurts sooo bad! I think I'm allergic to my cum!<strong>_

**That's…unfortunate.**

_**Is it possible to be allergic to it though? I washed my mouth and it still burns.**_

**Isa, check your first text.**

_**AHHH OH MY GOSH! OKITA-KUN, I MEANT GUM! AS IN CHEWING GUM! GUM*****_

* * *

><p><strong>Who are you? Someone changed your name<strong>

_**What did they change it to**_

**Chosen One**

**Doesn't matter, who are you**

_**I'm the Chosen One.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>There were three blondes walking on a trail. The first blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks." The second blonde said, "No those are totally moose tracks." The third said, "Nope, they're goat tracks." Then the train hit them.<strong>_

**HAHA! So wait, what kind of tracks were they?**

…_**Kondo-san..**_

* * *

><p><strong>Stupid girl! Why'd you leave HQ again after I told you not to!<strong>

_**Eror: Your message could not be sent at this time, please try again later. Error Number: 42672**_

**You spelled error wrong the first time!**

…_**no I didn't?**_

* * *

><p><strong>You know, sometimes I just feel like jerking off<strong>

_**Yamazaki-kun O_O**_

**What?**

_**Read your last text :P**_

**I MEANT JUMPING OFF*! That ruined my depressing moment!**

_**Aww you just made my day.**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>I'm in my room and I feel awful. My head feels like it's about to explode. Hijikata-san says I might have MANGINA!<strong>_

_**He said I might have MANGINA!**_

**What?**

_**Auto-correct is correcting it to MANGINA!**_

_**WTF why is it doing it in all caps?**_

_**But I meant meningitis. Its MANGINA!**_

_**D: OKITA-KUN HELP MEEE!**_

* * *

><p><em>To anyone who is reading this, Merry Christimas!<em>


	5. Mess With Love

Okita quickly took this opportunity to leave the area while they were talking, before chaos ensued. He also made a mental note of where he could find Hijikata's money for future use.

"Uh…no?" Isa put on a half-smile before she ran off after Okita. "Good luck, Yamazakii-kuuunn!" she yelled back at him.

Yamazaki paled. _I should've never left my bed_, was Yamazaki's last thought before Hijikata beat him to a pulp.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Four: Mess With Love Or Get Blown Up!<strong>

A few feet away from the front entrance of Edo Amusement Park, sat several Shinsengumi members, and an angry Matsudaira.

"You bastard, don't screw with my daughter. Kuriko waited over an hour for you to come! An hour of my well-bred daughter's time!" The chief of police pulled out a gun. "Oi Toshi, be my back-up." He put on a devilish grin.

Hijikata's jaw dropped. "So that's it? We're watching your daughter's date?" He really didn't want to be here. He rarely had days off, and he didn't want to be wasting them with _these_ people.

"This isn't a date! I'll never accept such a flashy guy as my daughter's boyfriend!"

"Hijikata-san, I definitely won't accept you as the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi either," said Okita.

"You stay quiet!"

"Ohoo! Look at all that gold he's wearing!" Isa popped out from behind them.

Matsudaira snapped his head around. "Isa! Don't tell me you're falling for his petty tricks too!" The man grabbed her shoulders, and shook her back and forth.

"A-hh, Matsudaira-san…good to see you again…" Isa croaked out. From all this shaking, she was beginning to feel dizzy.

"Old man, it looks like she's going to throw up." Okita said, pointing to the now-green girl's face.

"I thought your brother taught you better than this!" he cried, finally letting go of her.

Hijikata twitched."You! What are you doing here? Yamazaki was supposed to be watching you back at HQ!"

Isa regained her balance and crossed her arms. "Yamazaki-kun is busy though!"

* * *

><p>Near the gate inside the Shinsengumi HQ, something, or rather <em>someone<em>, was dangling from a tree tied to a rope.

"Someone! Anyone! Help!" Yamazaki yelled, swishing back and forth on the rope. Several Shinsengumi members actually passed by him. But instead of helping him, they not only took pictures, but also threw tomatoes, and other produce at him.

"Why Isa? What did I ever do to you!" Yamazaki cried, struggling to break out of the rope.

* * *

><p>"What could he possibly be doing?" Hijikata demanded.<p>

"He's probably playing badminton again." Okita suggested.

Isa looked away nervously, "Riiight…"

"Young lady, I do not believe we have met before." Isa turned to see a tall, brown-haired man looking down at her. The man reached out his hand for her to shake."I'm the great Kondo Isao!" he exclaimed with a proud grin.

She grabbed his hand and shook it. "Isa. Nice to meet you, Gorilla-chan."

Kondo kneeled towards the ground with tears in his eyes. "_G-Gorilla-chan_? Such a mean girl..." he wimpered.

Hijikata slapped his palm against his forehead. "Commander, get a hold of yourself." He shook his head. "I can't believe I took the day off just to come interfere with a date."

"I just want that man obliterated." Matsudaira cocked his gun up and aimed through his aviators.

Isa raised her hand up high. "I want to help!"

Hijikata sighed. "Kondo-san, do something about them."

"Who's Kondo?" Kondo whipped out a gun, and his own pair of aviators. "Call me Gorilla Hit-man 13." He ran off next to Matsudaira.

"13?" Hijikata questioned. "What does the 13-"

But it was too late. Both Matsudaira and Kondo ran off into the park after the couple.

Hijikata looked at them inrediculously. "I can't believe their actually doing this. Sougou, let's follow them."

"Who's Sougou?"

"Hah?" Hijikata turned to look at Okita but found him wearing the same thing as his superiors.

"I'm Hit-man Sougou 13." Then he too, ran off into the park to follow them.

Isa clapped her hands together. "How cool!"

Hijikata looked at her and sweat-dropped, when he realized she was now dressed like them too. "You too?"

* * *

><p>Matsudaira, Kondo, Okita, and Isa followed the couple onto the merry-go-round. Once the ride started, they positioned themselves and cocked their guns, ready to fire at the man.<p>

"That bastard _would_ choose this ride. I can't get a steady aim!" Matsudaira huffed.

"I'm starting to get sick." Kondo's face was slowly turning green.

"Gorilla-chan, please don't face this direction!"

"Mine too," said Okita. "Look over at Hijikata-san, Commander."

"Hey!" Hijikata growled.

"Toshi! When will these things catch up to them?" asked Matsudaira. "We're not getting any closer!"

"Like we ever will! We all spin together!"

Isa gasped. "Really?"

Hijikata rolled his eyes. "And aren't there plenty of other ways to end their relationship?"

They all whipped their heads at him. "What's that? You want to become one of us? You want to be part of the Hit-man League?" Kondo raised a brow.

Okita scoffed. "Hijikata-san doesn't have what it takes."

Isa piped in, "Definately not! Look at all that flab!"

"Shut up!" Hijikata yelled at them. He paused for a minute and tried to regain his composure. "And I just came to make sure you guys won't do anything stupid."

The merry-go-round soon ended and the group continued to follow the couple throughout the park. They were currently all standing by a bench nearby, a few feet away from their targets.

"Shichibei-sama! I, like, totally want to ride that!" Kuriko pointed to a rollercoaster above them.

"Are you serious? I'm really not good with these kinds of rides…" the blonde-haired man scratched the back of his head.

The girl threw him a challenging look. "Don't tell me you're scared?"

"No way! I just get sick and all…"

The girl pouted, "Let's ride it together." She tugged on his arm, but soon stopped after a rollercoaster zoomed over their heads. Kuriko looked up in awe.

"Stop your whining and get your ass on there, you Holstein son of a bitch."

Shichibei froze at the voice that whispered in his ear.

Okita put a knife to his back. "If you make a peep you'll have one more hole in ya."

Kuriko heard a yelp, and turned to look at the blonde man beside her. "Shichibei-sama?"

The man started to sweat. "Um, let's go on it together after all!" he said in a shaky voice.

"You mean it? Like, totally?" Kuriko grinned.

He gave a quick nod and the two ran off to the entrance of the ride, with of course, the others following behind them.

Kuriko and Shichibei got into the rollercoaster with Okita closely behind them. Isa, Kondo, Matsudaira and Hijikata sat in the back of the coaster, strapping on their belts.

"Will things really be alright?" asked Matsudaira.

Hijikata waved off his comment. "Don't worry. Sougou's the best at torturing people. A sadist among sadists."

"Hold the phone, bro! Okita-kun is a sadist?" Isa asked, observing Okita.

Hijikata sweat-dropped. "You didn't notice?" How could she not? All the times he threatened to kill him? All the times he put needles in his sheets? All the times he laughed at his pain and ignored his pleas for help? You'd have to be blind not to notice. Then again, she _was_ wearing glasses, so her eyesight couldn't have been that good anyways.

Hijikata shrugged off his thoughts, and focused all of his attention to the front of the rollercoaster.

Okita, in the seat behind Shichibei, put a knife to the man's throat. "Dump," he threatened.

"Eh?"

"Take a dump. If you don't do it by the time the rollercoaster's returned, I'll kill you."

Listening in to their conversation, Isa sighed dreamily. "He's so cool!"

Hijikata made a disgusted face. "Seriously?" She must be blind after all, he concluded.

Then without another word, the ride started. The civilians flung their hands up and screamed, as the rollercoaster zoomed up at a high speed.

"This is worse than I thought!" Matsudaira yelled. It was also hard to talk and hear with the wind wacking your face at a high speed.

"Ya bunch a' pansies!" Isa laughed loudly, obviously enjoying the ride.

Before Hijikata could yell at her again, Okita flew from the front of the rollercoaster, and ended up hitting Hijikata and Matsudaira in the face with his arms.

Hijikata swung his head back to look at the brunette. "What the hell are you doing?"

Okita desperately tried to hold on to the edge of the rollercoaster. "I forgot to close the belt! I forgot to close the belt!"

Isa squealed, completely misinterpreting the situation. "Okita-kun! I never knew you were such a dare-devil!"

"That's not it!" shouted Okita. "Help me Hijikata, you bastard!" Okita grabbed at his face.

Lucky for Okita, the ride soon ended. When the ride pulled to a complete stop, Isa helped Okita get out of the rollercoaster.

"Okita-kun, I never knew you had it in you!" Isa said, helping him walk over to the rest of the group.

Okita groaned, still feeling woozy from the ride. "Neither did I..."

The two walked up to the other men and tried to eavesdrop on them again.

"Ah, that was so scary, like, totally!" Kuriko laughed. Noticing that her date wasn't speaking, she glanced over at him. "Shichibei-sama? Your posture… your sitting up a bit taller than usual."

Shichibei paled. "T-This sucks," he muttered. He faced her and uttered, "I-I leaked a little.."

_Sorry Shichibei ,_Hijikata thought. _I have nothing against you but-_

"I'm so glad! To tell you the truth, I did too, like, totally." She blushed a bit.

"EH?" The 'Hit-men League' all had disgusted, and shocked expressions plastered on their faces.

Shichibei jumped out of his chair. "Seriously? It's like we're connected somehow!"

_Teenagers..._

"What the hell is this? Aren't they getting closer?" Matsudaira yelled at Hijikata.

"More like what the hell's wrong with your daughter!" he cursed back.

"Okita-kun! Go win me a stuffed animal!" Isa tugged on Okita's arm, which was still a little limp from the ride.

"We don't have time for that!" Hijikata growled.

Isa pushed up the middle of her glasses and crossed her arms. "Don't use that tone with me, young lady!"

The Vice-Commander twitched. "What are you even talking about!"

"Quiet you two! They're moving on to the next attraction!" Matsudaira said.

Hijikata turned to Kondo, who was still seated in one of the rollercoaster's seats. "Oi Kondo-san-"

"Toshi, don't tell anyone, like, totally.."

"What!"

After they walked out of the exit to the rollercoaster, they sat down on a bench nearby, and rested a bit (much to Okita's relief). Kondo was also able to change his clothes too...sorta. None of them actually brought a lot of money with them, so they had to buy the cheapest thing they had in the stores; a duck suit. ...It was on clearence. And let's just say, they got _many_ stares from the other park-goers.

"Anyways your daughter, you know, made up that lie so he wouldn't get hurt." Hijikata took a drag of his cigarette.

Matsudaira had a look of confusion on his face. "What?"

"Toshi, is that it? Kuriko-chan didn't even care if he took a dump. Even though you freaked out when I did it, Kuriko-chan accepts everything about him, including the ugly parts. Is that what you're saying?" Kondo crossed his arms.

Isa stared at the Commander in awe, still holding onto Okita's arm. "Gorilla-chan you're so deep!"

"Kondo-san, I ditched you too." said Okita. He then looked down at Isa, "I'm fine now so you can let go…"

"Matsudaira-san, look!" the brown-haired girl pointed over to the Ferris wheel, ignoring Okita's comment.

"Kuriko-chan is in danger!" Kondo roared.

Hijikata noticed that some of the people around them, looked at Kondo like he was a psycho.

Well, he was.

* * *

><p>"W-What is that?" Shichibei yelled out.<p>

A helicopter neared towards the Ferris wheel car the two were in. The door to the helicopter opened, revealing the 'Hit-men League'.

"We are," they all steadied their guns and aimed, "Hit-men Samurai 13. We're here for your life!"

"Wait," Isa removed her aviators. "Isn't that Hijikata-san?"

"Hah? Toshi?"

Sure enough, it was. Hijikata was standing on a nearby building holding a giant mayonnaise bazooka. "Toshi? Who's that?" he aimed his gun. "I am the warrior of love, Mayora 13."

"Those who interfere with other's love lives need to…disappear!" And with that, he shot the helicopter's main rotor. The loud explosion from the shot could be heard all throughout the park, as well as the screams of the 'Hit-men Samurai 13'.

Hijikata looked back at the couple."May the two of you always be happy together."

When he started walking away, Kuriko quickly shouted, "I'll break up with this dump-taking idiot already, like, totally, so will you go out with me?"

Hijikata whipped his head around. "Wha-?"

* * *

><p>Back at the HQ...Yamazaki was, well, still in the same position. Except now he had many bugs and animals trying to eat him, or rather, the food he was coated in; courtesy of the 'passing by' Shinsengumi members.<p>

"Hey! Stop it!" Yamazaki shouted, trying to dodge the animal's continuous lunges at him.

He started thinking things couldn't get any worse than this. Oh, how wrong he was. Because after he finished that thought, it started to rain.


	6. It's Not Hide N' Seek

**OMG! Thank you so much _MusicOfMadness, kamikorosuXP, & BlackRabbitpyon_ for alerting this story. And **_**cellphone-itis **_**for favoriting it. I really appreciate it:) And for the Reviews too!**

* * *

><p>Back at the HQ...Yamazaki was, well, still in the same position. Except now he had many bugs and animals trying to eat him, or rather, the food he was coated in; courtesy of the 'passing by' Shinsengumi members.<p>

"Hey! Stop it!" Yamazaki shouted, trying to dodge the animal's continuous lunges at him.

He started thinking things couldn't get any worse than this. Oh, how wrong he was. Because after he finished that thought, it started to rain.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Five: It's Not Hide N' Seek If Only One Person Is Playing!<strong>

Isa, who just got out of bed a few minutes ago, came into the kitchen and yawned. "Morning." She said, taking a seat next to Okita at the table.

Okita nodded and took a sip of his tea.

"What's for breakfast?" She rubbed her eyes, trying to wake up.

As if on cue, Hijikata came in with a tray of food, and set it down on the table. "Dig in." He sat down across from Okita, and ate his food at an alarming rate.

Isa stared at the 'breakfast' Hijikata made, which was a large amount of mayo on some white rice. Actually, you couldn't even _see_ the rice. And watching him eat it too, wasn't exactly the most charming thing to look at. _Especially_ in the morning.

She made a disgusted face and rubbed her tummy. "I think I just lost my appetite.."

"The Vice-Commander has always had such disgusting fetishes." Okita noted.

Hijikata slammed his bowl down on the table. "Shut up, Sougou!" Trying to keep his cool, he sat back down and cleared his throat. "Mayonnaise is a delicacy, like a gift from the Gods themselves." He crossed his arms. "If you ask me though, I think it deserves much more credit."

"Ew! It sounds like you worship it, Hijikata-san!"

The Vice-Commander ignored the brown-haired girl's comment and went back to devouring his food. "You'll never understand." he said in-between bites.

After a couple of minutes of watching Hijikata eat his 'breakfast', she started to feel sick.

"I feel like puking…" Isa looked down at her cup of tea while holding a hand over her mouth.

Okita put a hand on her shoulder and looked at her right in the eyes with his usual dead-pan expression. "I feel the same way every day when I look at him."

* * *

><p>"Why are we doing this again?" Hijikata groaned.<p>

Hijikata, Kondo, Isa, Okita and Yamazaki all stood outside by the gate in a circle. Yamazaki gazed up at the clear blue sky above him, and groaned. If only it was like this yesterday...

"Because it's fun!" Isa grinned. "Now shut up and be a man!" she glared at him.

Hijikata ran a hand through his hair. "How can I be a man when we're about to play a _children's _game?"

"There's another option. You could always be a woman, Vice-Commander." suggested Okita.

"Why you!-"

Kondo wrapped his arms around Hijikata and Okita, preventing them from fighting. "C'mon Toshi, it'll be just like when you were younger! We haven't played hide-n'-go-seek in ages!"

Okita made a face and moved away from Kondo's grasp, obviously not wanting to be touched by the older male.

"Hijikata-san would probably be the first one out anyways," Okita dead-panned.

"Really? I was betting on Yamazaki-kun." Isa pointed to Yamazaki behind her with her thumb. "After all, the only thing he can actually do is play badminton. And that's like, the pansy form of tennis."

Yamazaki's jaw dropped. "Wha?" She obviously didn't know what she was missing, thought Yamazaki.

Okita tapped his finger to his chin. "That is a possibility…"

Kondo joined their conversation. "But he's a spy, so he'd be good at this sort thing."

"Oh! I forgot about that!" That was true. But, with his occasional clumsy-ness, maybe not.

Hijikata sighed and rubbed his temple. "Can we just get this over with?"

"Fine!" Isa clapped her hands together. "It's decided. Yamazaki-kun will be 'It'!"

"Why me?"

"It was decided by majority vote."

"But we didn't even vote!"

"Okay! Start!" Isa shouted, completely ignoring Yamazaki. Everyone stalked off in different directions, leaving him behind.

Yamazaki sighed and started counting to fifty. When he was done, he began his search for the others.

Several minutes into the game, Yamazaki found Hijikata behind a bush. "Found you, Vice-Commander!" he grinned.

The raven-haired male gave him a dark glare. "No you didn't."

Yamazaki backed away and started sweating. "Never mind! I was just imagining things!" He then quickly ran off to find the others.

Hijikata took a drag of his cigarette. If Okita knew he got found first… He crushed the cigarette in his hand. There was no way he was going to let that bastard win.

* * *

><p>Isa, who was now in Hijikata's room, was climbing up to one of the ceiling panels. Once she was able to get a hold of the panel, she pushed it up and climbed her way into the ceiling.<p>

_Heh, they'll never find me here. _She dusted herself off and looked around the dark room until she spotted a sleeping boy a few feet away from her. "Okita-kun?"

Okita had his hands behind his head and his feet crossed in front of him. Isa also noticed he was wearing a bright red eye mask with two open eyes on it.

When she moved closer to him, she could hear him snore slightly. But realizing she was making quite a bit of noise, she halted her movements for a moment. Then she gently moved his head onto her lap.

_Aww! He kind of reminds me of a little boy! Without the mask though…_ she thought.

Then she yawned and leaned her head against the wall. And within a few minutes, she fell asleep.

But little did she know, Okita was awake the whole time. But he surprisingly didn't mind their current position, and soon dozed off himself.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Yamazaki already found Kondo, who was still whining about how he got found before Hijikata.<p>

"This is blasphemy!" Kondo roared. "I was more than positive he would be found first!" He stomped on the grass like child throwing a tantrum.

Yamazaki sweat-dropped. "Actually about that…"

Kondo turned to look at him expectantly, an unknown glint appeared in his eyes.

Yamazaki stepped back a bit, creeped out by the way he was looking at him. "W-Well, I found the Vice Commander earlier but he kind of scared me away." He looked down at his feet. "Isa's right. I _am_ a pansy!"

Kondo put a hand on Yamazaki's head. "No you're not. You just _play _the pansy form of tennis." He gave the boy a smile. "And don't worry about Toshi. He's probably just on his period."

Yamazaki's head snapped up. "It's funny how everyone thinks that," he muttered.

"Now!" Kondo lifted Yamazaki in the air. "I will turn you into a man!"

Yamazaki yelped. "C-C-Commander _please_ put me down!"

"Ha ha ha!" He hoisted the boy over his shoulder. "After I'm done with you, people won't refer to you as Yamazaki The Boy, but Yamazaki The Man!"

"Wait! Who ever called me Yamazaki The Boy? I'm twenty!"

"Everyone I know in the Police Force!"

Yamazaki's jaw dropped, and he momentarily stopped struggling.

"Let's begin our journey, Grasshopper!" Kondo started walking off towards the entrance of the gate, still carrying Yamazaki.

Yamazaki ignored the nickname. "What about the game?" He would much rather continue playing hide n' seek instead of doing whatever the Commander had in mind.

"It's already been over two hours into it! I bet the others have already stopped playing." And with that, they walked out of HQ.

* * *

><p>Isa felt her face against something solid and warm. She opened her eyes slowly, and when they opened, she realized she was being carried on someone's back. She noticed the brunette hair, and guessed it was Okita who was carrying her.<p>

Okita stopped walking when he felt movement on his back, and turned his head to look at the girl who had just woken up.

"Ah, sorry about this Okita-kun. I never meant to fall asleep." She blushed a little and scratched the back of her head.

Now that she was awake, Okita set the girl down gently on the floor and stood back up. "What were you doing?" he asked.

"Hiding, obviously!" she grinned. "But I didn't expect to see you there." Isa got up from the ground.

"It's where I go to plot the Vice-Commander's doom."

"That reminds me!" She pulled out two small vials from her pocket. "Want to help me put this dye in the Vice-Commander's shampoo?" she grinned evilly.

Okita nodded and he too, had a look of evil on his face.

* * *

><p>Hijikata laughed to himself, still behind the same bush.<p>

"Heheh! First one out? Yeah right!" he took out his fifth cigarette and lit it. "I bet the others have already been found by Yamazaki."

He started laughing maniacally. "I sure showed them, huh!"

Then he realized he was talking to himself.

* * *

><p>"Now Grasshopper! Time to begin your journey to being a man!" Kondo grabbed Yamazaki's shoulder, trying to encourage him.<p>

Unfortunately, the younger male didn't feel it. "What are we doing in a junk yard? And why do you keep calling me grasshopper?" asked Yamazaki.

Kondo pulled out a bucket of water and a sponge. "It's your apprentice name!" He stuffed the objects into his arms.

Yamazaki looked at the items in his hands. "Uh, Commander? What are we going to be doing?"

Kondo turned to the four mud-coated cars in front of them. "I'm going to teach you something my sensei taught me."

"What is it?"

Kondo faced Yamazaki and looked at him straight in the eye. "Wax on and wax off."

"What? That's from the Karate Kid!"

"And what a great movie it was!" the commander grinned.

Yamazaki sighed and stared at the dirt covered ground.

Kondo looked at the sun that was beginning to set. He crossed his arms. "But to be a man…"

Yamazaki picked his head up.

Kondo straightened his back and put on a serious expression. "You must be swift as the coursing river."

A vein popped out on Yamazaki's head. "Are you serious? That's from Mulan!"

"Also one of my favorites!" Kondo gave him a thumbs-up.

* * *

><p>"Canary Yellow or Dark Magenta?" Isa held out the two vials in front of Okita.<p>

The brunette thought a moment. "The yellow."

Isa grinned. "Good choice!"

They both unscrewed the caps to his shampoo and conditioner bottles, and poured the yellow dye into the containers. When they were done, they exited the room quietly as if nothing even happened.

The brown-haired girl pushed up the middle of her glasses. "Well, I'm off to my room. See ya later!" Isa said, tail wagging happily behind her.

Okita nodded and started walking to his own room.

"Ah, wait!" Isa ran up to Okita and lightly kissed his cheek. "Thanks for carrying me earlier." She winked at him and then walked back to her room to go to sleep for the night.

Okita stared at where she was last standing and put a hand to his cheek. He felt weird. Happy, almost. He stood there for another moment before going back to his own room.

But even more surprisingly, Hijikata was still outside the behind the bush, thinking the game was still going on.

_Heh, _he checked his watch. _It's been almost seven hours and they still haven't found me!_ He thought.

_I wonder if I broke the world record or something! All the mayo I could buy with that money…_ His mouth started to water.

Then, a relatively rational thought came to him. What if they ditched and/or forgot all about him?


	7. A Young Boy's Quest

But even more surprisingly, Hijikata was still outside the behind the bush, thinking the game was still going on.

_Heh, _he checked his watch. _It's been almost seven hours and they still haven't found me!_ He thought.

_I wonder if I broke the world record or something! All the mayo I could buy with that money…_ His mouth started to water.

Then, a relatively rational thought came to him. What if they ditched and/or forgot all about him?

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Six: A Young Boy's Quest To Being A Man Is Not Easy!<strong>

"What the fuck!" A scream resonated throughout the HQ.

Everyone in the kitchen stopped what they were doing, and whipped their heads up.

Yamazaki was the first to speak. "What was that?" he asked.

Okita and Isa exchanged looks from across the table. "We have absolutely no idea," they both said.

Yamazaki sweat-dropped. "Somehow I don't believe you two..."

The door to the kitchen slammed open, revealing an extremely angry, blonde Hijikata.

"Toshi! Your hair looks great!" Kondo piped in. "What new hair products are you using?" He grabbed a note pad and a pen.

"This," Hijikata grabbed at his hair, "does not look 'great'!"

"I kind of like it!" Isa grinned.

"I agree." Okita chimed in. "It really brings out your feminine qualities."

Hijikata snapped his head towards them. "You two!"

They both blinked innocently at him. "Yes?"

He grabbed both of them by their collars. "You two did it, didn't you?"

They glanced at each other out of the corner of their eyes. "Of course not."

A vein popped on Hijikata's head. "Stop saying things simultaniously!"

"Now, now, Toshi, if you ask me they did you a favor!" Kondo put his hands on his hips. "Now say 'thank you' to the little angels."

Hijikata's grip on their collars tightened. "The hell! Why would I-"

"Toshi!" Kondo leaned forward. "Well?"

Okita smirked at him. "Well?"

Isa wagged her tail a little. "Well?"

Yamazaki decided not to say anything, and kept his eyes fixed on the tea in front of him. He figured if he did, he would probably get injured physically, and mentally from Hijikata.

Hijikata's face reddened from anger and let go of their collars 'gently'. "Thank you," he said through clenched teeth.

Yamazaki was glad he didn't say anything after all. Hijikata looked like he was about to murder them in ways unimaginable.

"Anytime, Hijikata-san!" Isa smiled.

Hijikata just twitched in response.

Isa leaned over to whisper to Okita. "We're definately doing this again soon."

Okita nodded and smiled slightly.

Kondo got up from his seat at the kitchen table. "Alright, time for us to go, Yamazaki!"

"Where are you guys going?" asked Hijikata.

"To make Yamazaki a man! It didn't really work out yesterday, but i've got a good feeling about today!" Kondo grinned.

Yamazaki picked his head up. "Wait! We're still doing that?"

The Commander nodded. "Of course we are!"

Isa tapped her finger to her chin. "Mmm, I thought you can only be a man if you finally have se-"

Okita covered her mouth with his hand. "Girls aren't supposed to say those kinds of things."

Isa pouted and removed his hand.

Hijikata scoffed. "She's hardly a girl."

"And you're hardly a man."

"She has a point there, Hijikata-san." Okita noted.

"Let's not fight again.." muttered Yamazaki.

Isa raised her hand. "Anyway, I wanna help Yamazaki-kun!"

"Good! We'll need all the help we can get!" exclaimed Kondo.

Yamazaki's face fell. "What does that mean?"

"Exactly what I said!"

"I'll pitch in too." Okita said, aiming a gun at Hijikata.

"You asshole! Why are you pointing a gun at me?"

"To make you a man too."

Yamzaki sighed. This was going to be a _long_ day...

* * *

><p>"Okay, Yamazaki!" Isa blew a whistle that was tied around her neck. "Let's start with three hundred push ups!"<p>

Yamazaki's jaw dropped. "That's impossible!"

Isa tilted her head to the side. "No it's not. My onii-chans use to make me do that a couple of times a week!"

Yamazaki gaped. Just what was she? Then he remembered she was a demon, and not a weak human like himself.

"Onii-chan_s_?"

The girl nodded at Yamazaki. "Yup! I have four older brothers!" She held out four fingers in front of her. Then she frowned and stared down at her palm. It had been a while since she had last seen them, and she was certainly worried about their safety.

Okita noticed the frown on her face and suddenly shot his bazooka at Yamazaki, who was barely able to get away in time.

"What the heck?" Yamazaki turned to Okita.

The brunette set the bazooka on his shoulder. "Three hundred push ups," he said in a dead-pan voice.

Yamazaki grew pale and quickly dropped down to the grass, starting his push ups.

Isa gasped. "I should have thought of using force!"

Okita nodded. "It's very effective."

"Aw, you guys started without me!" Kondo came outside wearing a track suit and he too, had a whistle hanging from his neck. He bent down to Yamazaki's level and yelled in his ear. "Pick up the pace you sissy!" He blew his whistle.

Yamazaki felt tears sting his eyes. "Yes sir." Then he suddenly felt weight on his back and his arms gave out.

"Oi, oi, oi! I'm not that heavy..." Isa frowned again.

"Yamazaki. Get up." Okita commanded.

Yamazaki quickly sprang up from the ground, and went back to doing his push ups even faster than before. "Yes sir!"

Isa crossed her legs, still sitting on Yamazaki's back. "Okita-kun, you should be a leader!" she grinned.

"I know." Okita then pictured himself taking Hijikata's place as Vice-Commander. The things he could do...

Kondo kept whistling like a maniac in Yamazaki's ears. "My grandma can do push ups faster than you!" he yelled.

Yamazaki's face grew red from exhaustion while he was panting. "C-Commander, please stop doing that."

"No way!" Kondo grabbed his whistle and brushed it against his face. "I love this little guy."

Isa grabbed hers and did the same. "I know right! So shiny..."

Yamazaki's arms gave out again and he passed out.

"Eh? Yamazaki-kun?" Isa got off his back and poked him.

"I'm disappointed in you, Yamazaki." Kondo looked away and started crying. "You'll never be a real man at this rate."

Okita shook his head at Yamazaki. "Pansy."

Isa's stomach suddenly growled loudly. "I'm hungry. Let's go get something to eat!"

"Fine by me."

"Okay! Let's go get Toshi too! I'm sure he'd want to show off his new hair!"

Isa pushed up her glasses. "I think he would _love_ that."

* * *

><p>"Why did you make me come here?" Hijikata growled, trying to ignore the stares he got from people in the cafe.<p>

"To show off your golden locks, Vice-Commander." said Okita.

"You never told me what you did to it, Toshi! I need to know! It looks totally cool!" Kondo held out his note pad and pen again.

_What is he talking about?_ thought Hijikata. He pulled at his hair again. _It looks absolutely hideous!_

"I want to know too."

Hijikata looked at Okita and glared at him. "Shouldn't you already know? You too." He pointed to Isa.

They both blinked. "What ever are you talking about?"

"You're saying things at the same time again!"

"Toshi, stop yelling. It's attracting way too much attention." Kondo crossed his arms.

Hijikata leaned back into his chair. "I'm telling you it's only the hair," he mumbled.

"Hmm...it feels like we're forgetting someone..." Isa looked around.

They all thought for a moment and then said, "Nope, nevermind."

"Must be my imagination."

Then the waiter came by their table and set their food down in front of them.

Hijikata pulled out a cigarette from his pocket and was about to light it, when the waiter suddenly stopped him.

"Excuse me sir, but there is no smoking allowed in this cafe." the waiter said.

"Are you kidding me?" Hijikata let out an aggravated sigh and walked outside to smoke his cigarette.

"Wait Toshi, i'll come with you!" Kondo walked out after him, leaving Okita and Isa alone at the table.

Isa looked at the boy sitting next to her. "Want to replace Hijikata's tuna with cat food?"

Okita shrugged. "Sure."

The girl pulled out a can of cat food from her pocket and started to open it.

"Why do you have cat food in your pocket?"

Isa looked around nervously. "No reason..."

She set the can down on the table and removed the tuna from Hijikata's plate with a napkin. Then she handed it to Okita. "Do something with it."

Okita made a disgusted face and flicked the napkin onto a nearby table that needed to be cleaned.

Isa then mashed up the cat food and put it in place of Hijikata's tuna.

And just in time too, Kondo and Hijikata walked back over to the table.

"-And then she said, you should be in jail!" Kondo started cracking up as he sat back down in his seat.

Hijikata put a hand to his head and rubbed it. "Yeah, great joke Commander..." He sat down as well.

"Hijikata-san, what's it like to smoke?" Isa questioned.

"Well-"

"Isa-chan!" Kondo cut in. "You're way too young!" He started to tear up. "Do you want to end up like him?" Kondo gestured over to Hijikata.

"Oi!" Hijikata growled.

Isa shook her head. "Of course not! And i'm not that young," she pouted. "I'm sixteen."

"I remember when I was your age..." Kondo reminisced.

"You sound like an old man," said Okita.

"Okita-kun, how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

Isa gaped. "I thought I was older than you! Even though i'm shorter..."

Okita just stared at her.

Then as Hijikata took a couple of bites from his sandwhich, he started to choke. "W-What," he coughed, "-is this?" He dropped his fork.

His face started to turn red and he banged his hand down on the table, signaling that he couldn't breathe.

"Don't worry Toshi! I'll save you!" Kondo got up from his chair and tackled Hijikata to the ground.

Isa took a picture of the scene before her on her Uphone. "What a memorable moment!"

"Send that to me," said Okita.

"Will do!"

"Sir, are you okay?" A couple of waiters came up to Hijikata and helped him get up.

"I'm fine, let go!" He shoved some of the waiters away and walked back angrily to the table. "What did you do to my food?" he demanded.

"Nothing..." they said.

He twitched. "You're doing it again!"

* * *

><p>"What the-" Yamazaki slowly got up from the ground and looked up. It was dark outside. He quickly checked his watch. "2:30 AM?"<p>

_What happened? _thought Yamazaki. _Oh yeah, Isa... _He rubbed his aching muscles.

_Never again._ He shuddered and walked back inside the HQ to his room.


	8. One Day Part One

**FIRST OFF,** I'm so sorry! Its been a month ~_~. Anyways, I'm finally done with finals so I should be able to update more. **I also apologize that this chapter isn't as long as the last few.** Well, enjoy! :)

* * *

><p>"What the-" Yamazaki slowly got up from the ground and looked up. It was dark outside. He checked his watch. "2:30 AM?"<p>

_What happened? _thought Yamazaki. _Oh yeah, Isa... _He rubbed his aching muscles.

_Never again._ He shuddered and walked back inside the HQ to his room.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Seven: One Day Can Seem Like Forever! -Part One<strong>

"Listen up!" Kondo put his hands on his hips. "The purpose of our Special Awareness Day today, is to remind Edo's citizens to be careful about crime! And, to regain some credibility for the Shinsengumi in light for their recently failing, public credibility! Therefore, we have invited Otsuu-chan to be Commander for a day and to improve our image!"

The Shinsengumi members roared with excitement.

Isa leaned over to Okita. "Um, who's Otsuu?" she questioned.

Okita just shrugged in response. He looked over at Kondo, who was being beaten up by several of his co-workers. "Ah, the troop's morale has gone up."

Hijikata shook his head. "It's not going up. It's spiraling out of control."

"Wait! Can I be Commander for a day?" Isa grinned.

"Definately not!" Hijikata yelled.

Okita handed Otsuu a paper. "Here's today's schedule."

Hijikata took a drag of his cigarette. "You don't have to do anything. Just stand there and smile."

Otsuu looked up from the paper. "I don't like doing things halfway. No matter what the job is, you've got to give it your all!"

Isa had sparkles in her eyes. "Well said!"

"Even though it's only for a day, I want to fulfill my duties as Commander. And I thought of ways to improve the Shinsengumi's image. So, violent behavior is banned today!"

The men who were fighting with Kondo immediately stopped.

"And remove your swords!"

All of the men dropped their swords. "Sorry Commander!" they all said.

Isa walked up to Otsuu and saluted to her. "Commander! Can I be Vice-Commander for a day?"

Hijikata's jaw dropped. "Absolutely not! That's my job!"

Otsuu winked. "Of course you can!"

"The Hell? You can't-"

"Toshi! The Commander's word is final!" said Kondo.

Several men behind him nodded.

Isa squealed. "Yay! I'll be right back!" She walked away to a nearby rest room.

"I don't believe this!" Hijikata growled.

"Does this mean i'm a higher rank than you?" Okita had an evil glint in his eye.

A vein popped on Hijikata's head. "Dont get too ahead of yourself!"

"I've also changed the code." Otsuu pulled out a pink scroll and unrolled it. "Add something cute to the end of your sentences or commit seppuku -negative human!"

"That's-"

Someone kicked the back of the former Vice-Commander's head, and knocked him to the ground. Hijikata grunted.

"Oi..." Isa, wearing aviators and a Shinsengumi uniform, put a gun to Hijikata's throat. "Do as she says -moo."

Okita clapped. "She can do your job better than you can, Hijikata-san."

Isa removed her gun from his throat and walked up to Okita. "You really think so, Okita-kun?" She grinned.

Hijikata twitched.

"And I even got a mascot!" Otsuu waved to it. "Over here!"

The 'mascot' took a couple of steps toward them and then stopped. It was a silver-haired centaur with a dead body on its back. It also seemed to be a bit depressed...

"The Shinsengumi mascot, Makoto-chan!" Otsuu introduced.

Hijikata finally got up from the ground. "How does this even relate to the Shinsengumi? Why is there a dead body on its back? And which one's Makoto-chan?"

"It's the horse -goat crap!"

Isa gazed at the mascot. "It's so cute!"

Hijikata and Okita sweat-dropped.

* * *

><p>Okita, Isa, and Hijikata were in front of their van watching Otsuu perform.<p>

"The Commander sure is popular -fall off a cliff and die, Hijikata you bastard." Okita said.

"And whats with this song?" Hijikata said, ignoring Okita's last comment.

Isa clapped her hands together. "Hijikata-chan, You don't get it? It's obviously a true love song -walk right into a sword Hijikata-chan!" she said.

Hijikata twitched at her statement. "_Chan_?"

Okita nodded. "I think it suits you too -die by poisonous gas, Hijikata."

"You've been promoted from -san to -chan -Hijikata-chan is a woman!"

"I'm not a woman -fall off a cliff and die, Okita!"

Isa whispered to Okita, "He's in denial -Hijikata-chan has a womanly figure!"

"So he's in that stage, huh -soak in hot water and boil to death Hijikata," Okita whispered back.

"I can hear you two -die Okita!"

"Die Hijikata."

"Die Okita."

"Die Okita, oops messed up...Die Hijikata."

Isa sighed and crossed her arms. "This is so boring! I'm going into town to fulfill my Vice-Commander duties -Hijikata paints his nails!" She got up from the car and started trailing off into the city.

"Hey, come back here!" Hijikata snarled. "You aren't even the Vice-Commander so you don't have anything to do!" he twitched a bit. "And I don't paint my nails!"

But the girl was already gone and lost in the big crowd of people that flooded the streets of the city.

"Tch, I give up." Hijikata closed his eyes and leaned on the back of the car door.

Okita pointed in the directed Isa had gone in. "Isn't it our job to watch her though?"

* * *

><p>Isa roamed the streets with a sad expression and slumped her shoulders. <em>I've been walking around here for almost an hour now and nothing bad has been going on! What the heck is wrong with these people!<em>

She stopped walking and looked at citizens as if they were crazy. "Somebody just steal something already -Hijikata Toshiro hates babies!" she shouted.

The towns-people stopped what they were doing, and looked at Isa strangely. Some of them backed away from her a bit, after noticing she had a large gun hanging from her belt. Others were some-what confused by her last statement and thought she was on something.

The brown-haired girl quickly covered her mouth and decided to stop adding the phrases at the end of her sentences. At least, thats why she thought she was being stared at. Then she looked down at what she was wearing. "Crap..." she muttered. She forgot was wearing the Shinsengumi's uniform and was supposed to try to improve their image.

Trying to remove their stares, she attempted to cover herself. "D-D-Don't look at me! I'm hideous! Gah!" Isa realized they were still looking at her as if she'd grown another head, and ran off to the other side of town.

But after hearing a woman scream, she stopped. _Trouble! This looks like a job_ _for... the Vice-Commander of the famous Shinsengumi!_

She ran into an alley and followed the scream. When she saw several figures ahead of her, she stopped and hid herself behind a trashcan. She squinted a little and was able to make out two men and one woman.

"Heh, those Shinsengumi punks! This is what they get when they mess with us!" One of the men put his hand around the woman's mouth.

"Maybe the Boss will give us something good for capturing her," the other man said.

"Let's hope so." And with that, they walked away out of sight.

Isa stood up from behind the trash can. _That lady was the Commander! How dare they kidnap her!_ She put on her aviators and grabbed her gun hanging from her belt. She then hoisted the gun over her shoulder and put on her game face.

"Let's do this."


	9. One Day Part Two

Isa stood up from behind the trash can. _That lady was the Commander! How dare they kidnap her!_ She put on her aviators and grabbed her gun hanging from her belt. She then hoisted the gun over her shoulder and put on her game face.

"Let's do this."

* * *

><p><strong>One Day Can Seem Like Forever! -Part Two<strong>

"The criminal group currently barricaded inside Ibo Temple is a Jouiroushi group called the Tengu Party," the female reporter said. "It has been confirmed that they are the ones responsible for the recent serial abduction of women."

Then suddenly a citizen standing nearby cried out, "Wah! What the heck is that girl doing?"

People in the crowd quickly turned their heads.

"Hey camera man! Get a shot of that!" One of the reporters said.

Somewhere in the city, the Shinsengumi were watching the broadcast. And needless to say, they knew what was going to come next. After all, this _is_ what the self-proclaimed Vice-Commander for a day would do. And sure enough there she was... holding a giant bazooka hoisted on her shoulder.

The cigarette currently resting between Hijikata's lips, promptly fell from his mouth. "What the hell! What does she think shes doing!"

"See Hijikata-san, _this_ is what happens when we let her run off like that." said Okita.

"..."

"Boss!" A familiar female voice resounded from the broadcast. The Shinsengumi members looked back up at the screen.

"Isa-chan!" Otsuu called out from the top of the temple. "You really came for me!"

"Of course," she fixed her aviators. "They don't call me the Vice-Commander of the Shinsengumi for nothing!"

Hijikata twitched at the screen. "You aren't the Vice-Commander and never will be!"

"Toshi! Otsuu-chan already appointed her Vice-Commander! Stop whining like a little pansy and accept it!" yelled Kondo.

* * *

><p><em>Click.<em>

_Click. Click._

Isa froze. She forgot to load her bazooka.

Shit.

She looked around her nervously. What a bad time to forget to load the weapon that was supposed to save your beloved boss. Isa mumbled incoherent words under her breath and tossed her bazooka aside.

Whatever. She didn't need the weapon. After all, a real man uses his fists right? Okay, wo_man._ ...I guess that works...

Then without warning, Isa charged towards the entrance of the Temple with her black tail swishing behind her. "I'm coming for you, boss!" she yelled.

And then the next three minutes was all a blur to her. She found the balcony where they were holding Otsuu captive, and tried to free her from the ropes that were binded around her body. In the end her attempts were futile, so she charged towards one of the men a few feet away from her who was holding a knife. But she lost that battle too. The man she attacked quickly tased her and she fell to the ground.

"B-Boss..." Isa extended her arm out in front of her towards Otsuu. "Hijikata... is actually.. a woman.." Her head slumped to the floor and she finally blacked out.

"No! Isa-chan!" Tears pricked Otsuu's eyes.

The man who tased Isa looked down at his hand and rubbed it. "She actually bit my hand..." he wimpered.

"Otsuu-chan, my lovely!"

Everyone on the balcony looked down and saw Kondo standing in the middle of the crowd with his hands cupping the sides of his mouth.

"Otsuu-chan! Are you okay, my darling-"

_Thwack._

"Shut up! You're embarrasing us!" Hijikata rubbed his temple.

"I dont know about that, Hijikata-san." Okita put his hands in his pockets and walked towards them. "You just _being_ in the Shinsengumi is an embarrassment."

Kondo nodded. "Hes got a point there."

Hijikata glared at them. "You two..."

"Everyone!" Otsuu called out from the balcony.

A man wrapped in bandages, obviously their leader, held her back. "So you finally show up, Shinsengumi. I hope you've done the paperwork for disbanding." He laughed 'evil-y'.

"Hey! What did you say?" The Shinsengumi called out to them.

"Everyone!" Otsuu bellowed out again.

"So you finally show up, Shinsengumi. I hope you've done... hey! Don't make me repeat myself! It's embarrasing!" The man yelled back.

Kondo held up a sign over his head written 'We can't hear you. Please write it down.'

The bandaged man read the words aloud and then held up a sign of his own. 'I hope you're doing something about the release of our comrades. If you don't listen to our demands, we will kill the hostages.'

Okita held up another sign saying that the writing was too small and they were unable to read it.

Then a figure suddenly popped up from behind Otsuu and yelled, "Mummy-man said that if you don't listen to their demands they'll kill the hostages!"

'Mummy-man' flinched at the name and started grabbing at Isa. "You! How did you escape from the ropes!"

Isa made a disgusted face from his touch. "Hey! Watch where you're grabbing!"

Isa smacked his hands away from her and backed up. But while she was backing up, she lost her footing and fell over the small fence that surrounded the balcony.

A few gasps were admitted from the crowd below and some people flung their hands to their mouths. Then in a flash, Okita quickly ran under Isa and was able to break her fall.

Sighs of relief from the crowd filled the air.

Isa slowly opened her eyes and found herself sprawled over the brunette. Her eyes sparkled and she latched onto his torso like a koala.

"Okita-kun! You're so manly!" Isa swooned.

"Don't run off again," he monotonously commanded.

Isa nuzzled into his chest. "Sure, sure!"

"...You can get off of me now."

"Fine.." She sighed and stood up. Then Isa grumbled when she saw an annoyed Hijikata walk over to them.

"You idiot!" Hijikata smacked the back of her head. "Why didn't you grab the girl if you were up there?"

Isa rubbed the back of her head."I got distracted...?" She frowned. How could she forget about saving her boss? Isa started tearing up and hugged Hijikata's leg. "I'm the worst Vice-Commander ever!" she sniffled.

Hijikata grunted. "What the hell!" He tried to shake her off his leg. "Get off me!"

Several people from the crowd started taking pictures of them on their phones and cameras, much to Hijikata's dismay.

Okita shook his head. "Hijikata-san, you're the worst."

The crowd who was taking pictures of them nodded in agreement.

"What?" He stopped shaking his leg. "What did I do!"

"Toshi! How could you make a young girl cry?" Kondo piped in.

"Forget it.." Hijikata sighed heavily and decided to get back to the original situation. "Second and Third Division, go around to the back of the temple!"

"You bastards! Are you making fun of us?" Someone shouted.

Kondo gave a stern look. "Pretend you can't hear them."

Back on the balcony of the temple, one of the other bandaged man read aloud the Shinsengumi's next sign. "They wrote 'We are consulting with the higher-ups regarding the release of the prisoners. But it's going to take some time, so wait.' "

Okita looked through his binoculars. "They said 'We want proof. Spin around three times and say woof.' "

Hijikata growled. "Those scumbags..."

Isa raised her hand. "I vote Hijikata!"

Okita raised a brow through his binoculars. "Good choice, because they also wrote 'Hijikata must do it.' "

"Liar!"

"It can't be helped Toshi. It's for Otsuu-chan."

Makoto-chan walked up to them. "Yeah, Toshi."

"Don't call me that!" Hijikata glared up at the bandaged men and twirled around three times. He then got down on his knee and said, "Woof."

Isa took a picture on her phone and laughed. "This will be my wallpaper!"

The crowd surrounding them were also saying things like, 'He tried to make it look cool, but it still looks embarrasing' and 'That was complete humiliation'.

Hijikata closed his eyes and tried his hardest to ignore them.

"Wait Hijikata-san, I got it wrong," Okita called over. "They actually wrote, 'We're hungry so make us curry.' "

"How'd you get that wrong, bastard!" Hjikata started chasing Okita. "That was a completely different sentence!"

Behind them, Kondo held up a sign that said 'Do you want it spicy or sweet?'

"Okita-kun!" Isa sniffled. "You better make it back alive from that demon!"

Hijikata glared at her. "What are you even talking about!"

And the next five minutes kept on going like that. The Shinsengumi made the Jouiroushi curry, Okita punched Hijikata and did the robot (Isa squealed and later glomped him), Hijikata tried to punch Okita and failed, and then they argued for a bit (like usual). Even Makoto-chan participated a little. Well, if you count eating curry with Kondo as participating, then yes.

It was all fun and games until one of the Jouiroushi held up a sign that said 'Kill Kondo.' Thats when things started to get complicated. It also put the Shinsengumi into a state of panic. Of course they wouldn't kill their own Commander, but if they didn't, the Jouiroushi would kill the hostages.

"There's no way we'll do that!" yelled a member of the Shinsengumi.

"If you don't," the Jouiroushi pointed their knives and spears at Otsuu's neck. "We'll kill this woman in Kondo's place."

Isa frowned. This was getting way too serious. From the way things were looking, someone was _going_ to die.

"Yo!"

The Jouiroushi turned their heads towards the door.

"I'm here to deliever the curry," said Makoto-chan.

"What are you?" one of the guards asked.

"I'm a part-time mascot." Makoto-chan then smashed the plates of curry he was holding into the guards' faces.

Back down below, after a minute of thinking it over, Kondo agreed to the Jouiroushi's terms.

"All right, come at me!" Kondo yelled to his subordinates.

"Commander! What are you doing?" someone called out.

"Please don't joke around!" another one said.

Kondo turned his head at Otsuu and told her that he was sorry he wasted her efforts, and that the Shinsengumi are just a group of good-for-nothing, irritating guys. And he said that that kind of people can't change so easily.

"No matter how much people hate us, no matter how much we're ridiculed, we definately won't become the kind of men who can't protect the thing that needs to be protected!" Kondo concluded.

The men of the Shinsengumi drew their swords and charged them at their Commander.

Isa's eyes widened. "Gorilla-chan!"

Then out of the corner of her eye, Isa saw two people falling from the top of the temple. Upon closer inspection, she realized it was Yamazaki and her boss, Otsuu. But she had to stifle a laugh when she saw Yamazaki dressed as a woman.

Then she heard movement behind her and a couple of clicks. Isa turned around and saw the entire Shinsengumi holding their guns, aiming at the Jouiroushi. She was also relieved to see that Kondo was unharmed. Her gaze then traveled over to Okita who was standing beside Kondo.

Isa clapped her hands together. "Eeep! Okita-kun, your so cool!"

"Would you shut up already!" yelled Hijikata. "You're ruining our scene!"

"Oops.." she quickly covered her mouth.

Once when it was silent and all dramatic again, the Shinsengumi smirked. "Goodbye, Ramen Substitute."

And the last thing that was heard, was the giant explosion that hit the temple.

* * *

><p>Okay, <strong>yes,<strong> i've already wrote this on **ch 1** but, again, i'd really appreciate it if someone could write an honest review. **PLEASE**, I want to know how I can improve my writing. **If you like it,** tell me why. **If you hate it**, tell me how I can fix it. **Flames** are welcome.


	10. When Someone Tells You

Isa clapped her hands together. "Eeep! Okita-kun, your so cool!"

"Would you shut up already!" yelled Hijikata. "You're ruining our scene!"

"Oops.." she quickly covered her mouth.

Once when it was silent and all dramatic again, the Shinsengumi smirked. "Goodbye, Ramen Substitute."

And the last thing that was heard was the giant explosion that hit the temple.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Eight: When Someone Tells You To Stay Put, Stay Put!<strong>

If Isa could describe her night in one word, it would be _dreadful_. She hasn't been able to get a lot of sleep in the last couple of days. Maybe it was because Hijikata had volunteered her to help clean up the temple that had been destroyed just a few days before. Probably. But, according to Kondo, it was also her punishment for running off into danger. Isa groaned. She spent her whole day at the temple again and all she wanted now was just some sleep. She deserved at least _some_ sleep, right?

Apparently, she was wrong.

Everytime she was close to drifting off to sleep, no, everytime she closed her eyes, that _stupid_ annoying cricket would chirp for the umpteenth time. She even spent an hour looking for the damn thing. But in the end, she was unable to find it. So Isa just got back in her futon and stared at the ceiling for a few hours. And during that time, she got to think about a few things.

At first, she thought about how she was going to get revenge on Hijikata... _man _was he in for a treat later. Then she thought about the Shinsengumi as a whole. Isa really liked it here. It was never boring at HQ and there was always something to do. The only problem was that this was a house full of _men._

When was the last time she even talked to a girl? Well... there was Otsuu. But after the Commander-for-a-day thing, she had to get back to her career. And now that Isa thought more about it, she didn't even have any friends back at her home planet that were girls.

At least now she had something to do tomorrow.

* * *

><p>"Please?"<p>

Twitch. "No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please!"

_Thwack._ "No!"

Isa rubbed her now-swollen head. "Aw, come on. Was it really neccessary to hit me again? What have I ever done to you?"

Hijikata gritted his teeth. "This morning you put everything that was in my room, on the roof! Even myself when I was still sleeping in my bed!"

"...It was an accident?"

"Do you honestly think I would believe that?"

"...no..."

"Uh-huh! And that's not the only thing you've done..."

Isa rolled her eyes. Ugh, this was getting off topic. Then again, maybe she shouldn't have asked Hijikata, of all people, to let her visit the town for a while. She looked back at the raven-haired man, who was now currently stomping around the room, ranting on and on about the other things she 'supposedly' did to him. Yeah, not the best idea.

This went on for about another five minutes, until Isa ended up leaving the room in search for another Shinsengumi member. Hijikata didn't even notice her leave and continued pacing around the room like a mad man. And anyways, as long as she takes someone with her its fine, right? Yeah, but last time she did that... eh, whatever.

"What are you doing?"

The demon girl snapped her head up at the voice. "Okita-kun! Perfect timing!" She latched herself onto his left arm.

Okita looked down at what she was wearing. She almost looked like Dora The Explorer. "... Why are you wearing that?"

"Because, you and I are about to go on an exploration!" Isa pulled out a piece of paper from her khaki shorts. "I even have my Map-Map!"

"Pass," was his only reply as he tried to gently shake her hands off his arm.

Isa pushed up the middle of her black-rimmed glasses. "It's important!"

The brunette stopped shaking his arm and looked down at her through his reddish-brown orbs. "What is it?"

Isa let go of his arm and gave him a thumbs up. "I'm on a mission to find a best friend." Then she quickly added, "That must be a girl!"

Okita blinked. "I'm pretty busy right now." He glanced down at his pockets to make sure his eye mask wasn't showing.

"Please? I promise i'll do anything you ask of me later."

Okita thought for a minute and was actually considering her deal. But then he remembered that she might end up running off into potential danger again, and he _really_ didn't want anymore trouble. Plus, this was kinda cutting into his nap time.

"No," he finally said.

* * *

><p>"..."<p>

"Okita-kun! Let's go look over there!" Isa dragged him towards the park.

Okita was too tired to argue with her, so he just grunted in acknowledgement. Is this what it was like for Yamazaki when they snuck out to the mall (reference to ch3)? Geez, its only been an hour and he was _already_ worn out. They went _everywhere _and back more than once. He didn't even care that he was now being dragged by a girl and that people were staring at them.

Okita glanced up at the girl who was pulling on his arm in a tight grip. She was smiling brightly and her tail was wagging happily too. Seeing her like this kind of made him smile a little. But when she looked back down at him the smile was gone as quick as it appeared.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I'm hungry." Isa dragged them both down onto a bench. "We should get something to eat." She looked at some of the shops around her.

Okita nodded. Running around with her everywhere did make him really hungry. He was almost at his limit too. Any more hiking around the city would've killed him, not that he would ever admit that.

Okita sighed. He _would_ make her go get food for them, but he quickly realized that that probably wasn't such a great idea. "I'll go get us something." He gave her a look.

Isa caught on and waved off what he was thinking. "Don't worry, I won't go anywhere," she giggled.

He still had the look on his face.

The girl sighed. "I'm serious."

"Okay," He put on a stern face. "Stay put."

"I will!"

Okita then stuck his hands in his pockets and walked off to a fast food resturaunt a few feet away.

What the heck? Isa frowned. Its not like he was going that far so why was he worrying? Isa leaned back into the bench and watched his distant form. Its not like she runs away _that_ much... or at least thats what she thinks. And lately, it seems like he's always saving her or watching her back. Well, that _was_ his job.

The brown-haired girl gazed at his back. This feeling she had, what was it? A sibling kind of feeling? Friendly? Infatuation? Isa dropped her gaze down to her hands that were on her lap.

Infatuation...no, that wasn't it. It was something else she hasn't experience before outside of her home, or with her brothers. And she only just came here two weeks ago, so it wasn't like they've known eachother for a really long time. Then...

"Oi! Give me that back, you brat!" a high pitched feminine voice yelled.

Isa's ears perked up. "My potential best friend senses are tingling!" She whipped her head around and pulled out her neat-o explorer spyglass. She looked through the small hole and saw an orange-haired girl wearing a chinese dress, and a young boy fighting over what seemed to be a small package.

"It was mine first, _hag_!"

The orange-haired girl growled and ripped the small package out of the boy's hands. "This last box of sukonbu was mine from the start!"

The young boy stepped back a little. "This isn't over lady!" The boy then ran off with a couple of other kids, who watched the two argue a few feet away from them.

"Tch, kids." The girl stuck the small box of sukonbu in her pocket and put a strand of wheat in the corner of her mouth.

Isa quickly ran over to the chinese-looking girl and grabbed her hands. "Will you become my best friend?" Her eyes sparkled with hope.

The other girl blinked. "Huh, who are you?"

"Your new best friend?"

The orange-haired girl slapped her hands away and turned her back on Isa. "Not just anyone can be best friends with me."

Isa stared at the girl in awe.

The chinese-looking girl turned her head slightly, and looked at Isa through the corner of her eye. "You have to go through a mind-bending test."

Isa had a determined expression on her face. "I'll do it!"

The china-girl rolled up her imaginary sleeve. "Bring it on!"

* * *

><p>When Okita returned to the bench where he originally left Isa, he wasn't exactly surprised to find her missing from said spot. He knew he should've just handcuffed her there. He sighed. <em>"<em>I should've known..." Okita muttered under his breath.

He looked around him a bit to see if he could try to spot her anywhere, and was surprisingly successful. There she was, squating on the ground with the girl he came to know for a while now, Kagura. And they were... playing rock, paper, scissors.

Okita stalked up to them with his usual bored expression. "What are you two doing?"

Both of them looked up from their heated little game.

"Sadist!"

"Okita-kun!"

Okita turned to Isa with a look of slight annoyance on his face. "You ran off... _again_."

Isa half-smiled and shrugged. "It's what I do best?" Her half-smile dropped when she noticed his expression. "I'm sorry..."

The brunette blinked and handed her the small bag of burgers he got from the fast food resturaunt. "Just don't let it happen again," he said slowly, so the words could sink into her brain.

Isa quickly nodded with enthusiasm. "Of course!"

Okita looked behind Isa. "And I see you've met the China monster."

Kagura twitched. "What did you just call me?"

"Did you become deaf since the last time i've seen you?" he smirked.

"Why you-!" Kagura launched herself at him.

Okita stepped to the side before she could even reach him. "Is that all you got?"

Kagura growled. "I haven't even started yet!"

While the two were fighting, Isa couldn't help but frown. She eyed the two, watching them argue and taunt each other. Her frown deepened even more. It was like they had something. Like... a connection, and somehow, this really bothered the demon girl. She even noticed the small smile on Okita's face whenever the orange-haired girl would try to make a dive for him. Or when he would smirk and tease her and she'd just start arguing with him again. And then she realized it.

That was the first time Isa experienced jealousy first-hand.

Isa grabbed at her chest. She didn't like this. This... heavy feeling. The way they acted around each other was making it harder for her to watch and it had only been a few minutes. Isa stumbled back a little. The other two didn't even notice her presence.

But then, someone suddenly grabbed her from behind and quickly dragged her out of the park. And before she could even see their face, she blacked out.


	11. Cells, Chips, and Creepy Dudes

That was the first time Isa experienced jealousy first-hand.

Isa grabbed at her chest. She didn't like this. This... heavy feeling. The way they acted around each other was making it harder for her to watch and it had only been a few minutes. Isa stumbled back a little. The other two didn't even notice her presence.

But then, someone suddenly grabbed her from behind and quickly dragged her out of the park. And before she could even see their face, she blacked out.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Nine: Cells, Chips, and Creepy Dudes, Oh My!<strong>

Isa's head hurt. _A lot._ And she wasn't exactly sure what had happened to her when she first opened her eyes. She even had a mini-panic attack. Well, I mean, who wouldn't if they woke up locked in a dark, cell-like room and didn't even know if it was still day-time outside. And for some reason, her hand felt weird. It was like there was something in it. But she didn't remember if she hurt it, or hit it against something. Actually, she didn't remember anything at all. Then it all came back to her.

_That's right...I was taken.._ she thought. Isa frowned and curled up into a small ball on the damp concrete floor. _I can't believe I practically allowed myself to be taken like that.._

Then her thoughts drifted back to a certain brunette and a particularly loud, orange-haired girl. Her frowned deepened and that heavy feeling she had earlier, returned to her chest. To everyone else, it may have seemed like they were just normal teenagers having an argument, but to her, it was much more. It was like they had a certain bond or something. Isa couldn't describe it. Then she mentally slapped herself for being so stupid. She had more important things to figure out. Like who kidnapped her, and why.

Isa heard a door not too far away from her cell room open. Then she heard multiple footsteps coming toward her. The brown-haired girl started to get a little bit nervous. This wasn't like her. She pushed up the middle of her black-rimmed glasses and rubbed her forehead lightly. Maybe the dark room was getting to her, she thought.

The footsteps suddenly stopped. Isa squinted to try to see who or what was in front of her. After a couple of seconds, she could make out the outline of several figures on the other side of the metal bars that seperated them. They were tall and slightly bulky. She guessed they were men. She also saw something long and curly that was coming out of their backside. Tails, she assumed. That meant they were from her home planet, Frei.

Isa rolled up her sleeves. She could take 'em, no problem. Then she halted for a quick moment and pushed her last thought in the back of her head. On second thought, maybe that wasn't such a good idea. It's true that she was a little stronger than the average human, but she really wasn't _that_ strong. Okita, Hijikata, and maybe even Yamazaki, could probably beat her up. Well... maybe not Yamazaki. Anyways, the only way how she survived her older brothers' training was because she had amazing endurance..._and_ she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"You," a deep, firm voice called out.

Isa snapped her head up at the men before her. "Uh-Uhm.."

The man whipped up his finger to quiet her. "Isellia Vorderseite, correct?"

Isa's eyes widened. How did they know her full name? Wait... they couldn't be..

"I'll take your silence as a yes." The man who spoke snapped his fingers. One of the men next to him walked over to the wall near the metal bars and flipped a switch.

Isa shielded her eyes with her hands from the sudden flash of light. Once when she got used to it, she put her hands back down to her sides and stared up at her captors. She stopped her gaze on a small, familiar sword-looking clip that was resting on their breast pockets. It was not just a clip. It was _the_ clip. The clip of her family's biggest enemy, the Irre family.

Isa felt small beads of sweat drip down the side of her head. This was bad.

* * *

><p>"What do you mean you lost her!" Hijikata yelled.<p>

"..." Okita didn't really know what to say to him, so he just continued staring at the tatami mats under his feet. He was actually pretty disappointed with himself. How could he lose sight of her like that? The brunette mentally kicked himself.

Hijikata ran a hand through his hair. "That girl, running off again..." Hijikata shook his head. "Theres always the possibility she was taken.."

"Uhm, if you don't mind me asking, what exactly are we protecting Isa _from_?" Yamazaki piped in.

Hijikata sat down on the floor and lightly cleared his throat. "Well, Matsudaira-san didn't give me too much information but, in that girl's world, status is everything."

Yamazaki looked at him questioningly while Okita leaned against the wall with his hands in his pockets.

Hijikata continued, "Supposedly, her family is pretty wealthy and powerful. Which of course, things like that lead to having many enemies. But most of them were too afraid of them to actually do anything, so it wasn't really much of a problem. Until now. One of them in particular, the Irre family, has been revolting against them, making her home unsafe for her. Which is why she was sent here."

Yamazaki nodded in understanding. "So you think these 'Irre' people are behind her disappearance?" Yamazaki said, adding air quotes.

Hijikata crossed his arms. "I wouldn't be surprised if they were."

"But if they _did_ take her, where would we look for her?" asked Okita.

Hijikata smirked. "Don't worry, I implanted a tracker in her hand after the temple incident a couple of days ago."

Yamazaki's jaw dropped. "Really? How?"

"I had a specialist come into her room to knock her out and install the chip." The Vice-Commander smiled proudly of himself.

"...If shes wearing a tracker then wouldn't we know where she is?" Okita said monotonously.

Hijikata frowned. "Thats because... it takes around 24 hours to get a reading."

"..."

_Annndd_ we're back to square one.

* * *

><p>Isa twitched. This was <em>great<em>! She got jealous of that girl in the park, got caught by her family's biggest enemy, and she wasn't able to insult Hijikata as much as she wanted to today! -If it was still _today_ anyways! And what was worse, she didn't know what the Irre were planning on doing to her! Isa put a hand up to her chin and thought of all the possibilities she could think of.

_Well, I guess when it comes down to it, they'll probably kill me._ she thought. Isa scrunched up her face, and swished her tail back and forth lightly. She was still in the same cell she woke up in earlier. The members of the Irre family she talked to earlier, only came by for verification of her name. After that, they left and haven't come back since.

Isa leaned her head back into the dirty concrete wall, not caring if it was making her hair look nasty. She hadn't been caring for a while now anyway. It had been several hours, she thought, since those people came by. She was pretty hungry too. Isa's eyes widened. Thats right! She had food! The brown-haired girl pulled out the small bag of food from her pocket. It was the food Okita gave her before she was kidnapped. She smiled in relief.

_Thank god! I thought I was gonna die from hunger!_

Isa quickly pulled out a burger from the bag and started devouring it. When she was finished, she laid down on the cool, slightly damp floor, and stared up at the ceiling.

_Okay, how am I supposed to get out of here? _She looked around the ceiling for any holes. She sighed. Nope, none. Then she looked over to her left and stared at the metal bars that were keeping her from escaping. The bars weren't _that_ close together, but even if she tried slipping in-between them, it wouldn't work. Then that only meant one thing...

Isa got up from her spot on the floor and went over to the back wall. She ran a hand over it and studied it. As she was doing this, she noticed a small hole in the wall and looked through it. She could see light from the other side! That meant that the walls, even though they seem like they're pretty thick and hard, were actually thin and worn down. She also noticed the many cracks that were dented in it too.

It was either this, or death.

Isa, who thought for a couple of moments, made up her mind, took a deep breath and quickly got to work. The whole time she was carrying out her plan, she wondered if her hands would ever look the same again.

* * *

><p>"Sir! Sir!" a young man in his early twenties called out.<p>

A tall and stiff older man who seemed to be his superior, turned around and glared at his subordinate. "What is it, Dino?" he spat out.

Dino, the young man who had called out to him, quickly composed himself infront of his leader. He cleared his throat. "Sir, I apologize for not paying attention before, but, the Vorderseite girl escaped from her cell."

His leader's eyes widened. "What? How!"

Dino stumbled a little on his words. "W-Well when I checked the security cameras, the girl was gone and there was a big hole in the wall; -big enough for a person to escape!"

* * *

><p><strong>Irre<strong> actually means mad in german.

**Vorderseite,** Isa's last name, also german, means front.

Isa's home planet, **Frei, **(german, lol), means free.

Why its all german, I don't know... :)

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! And sorry for the delay!**

**Review :D?**


	12. You're Never Too Old

Dino, the young man who had called out to him, quickly composed himself infront of his leader. He cleared his throat. "Sir, I apologize for not paying attention before, but, the Vorderseite girl escaped from her cell."

His leader's eyes widened. "What? How!"

Dino stumbled a little on his words. "W-Well when I checked the security cameras, the girl was gone and there was a big hole in the wall; -big enough for a person to escape!"

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Ten: You're Never Too Old To Use Walkie-Talkies!<strong>

Isa hurriedly ran down the hall, away from the three men who had been chasing her for the past fifteen minutes. How'd they find her so quickly? After she punched the wall repeatedly with both of her hands, which were now wrapped up by small scraps of the lower part of her dress, she was able to break through the wall and hide in a small room, located in what she thought was one of the lower floors of the hideout. She knew that they would've found out that she escaped sooner or later but, _good lord_, she didn't think it would be this fast.

Then, as she was maneuvering herself around one of the corners of the hall, she spotted a small, black camera hanging from the ceiling. Isa wanted to slap herself for being so stupid. _Of course_ they would have cameras! And no wonder why they found her so quickly... The brown-haired girl sighed.

_Maybe I should've thought this through a little more..._

Isa turned her head a little and looked behind her. The men were still chasing her, and they didn't look like they were going to give up anytime soon. Well, it didn't really matter, because she certainly wasn't planning on letting them catch her, regardless of wether she was tired or not.

* * *

><p>"What!" the gorilla look-a-like yelled.<p>

Yamazaki, Okita, and Hijikata had to shield their ears with their hands, in attempt to drown out his loud voice. It really is a wonder how he can raise his voice so many octaves high... But, then again, this is the Commander of the Shinsengumi we're talking about. Expect no less from him.

Anyways, before Kondo came into the room yelling, demanding answers, and flipping over tables, Yamazaki, Okita, and Hijikata were discussing how they could somehow track down Isa (since Hijikata made a pretty crappy tracking device). And surprisingly, they even came up with plans (that were named after letters of the alphabet) incase if their rescue attempt's scenario/situation changed. Though, the plans weren't exactly well thought out...

For example:** Plan D (Donkey)**

**If Isa is not present in the enemy's terrority, Okita and Hijikata will destory the enemy's quarters and burn them to the ground. Yamazaki will stand and watch.**

Of course, Yamazaki wasn't particularly happy with his role, but Hijikata threatened him and told him his opinion didn't really matter (Yamazaki internally cried). Okita didn't have a problem with what he was doing, he just didn't want Hijikata to out-shine him in any way. And Okita figured he would take Hijikata's place as Vice-Commander soon, anyways.

Not only that, but Okita really wanted to find Isa. He felt pretty guilty for her disappearence, and for some reason he felt the need to apologize to her. Okita _had_ to watch her too. If he didn't, she could get hurt, and that didn't sit well with him. He also couldn't help but feel slightly anxious while he and the others were going over the plans for her rescue. I mean, shes been gone for _hours_, something bad might happen to her- or already _had_ happened to her.

But back to the matter at hand, Kondo was still running around the room like a maniac. He even grabbed a nearby lamp, and threatened Yamazaki with it multiple times.

After a few more minutes of swinging the lamp and a few other objects around aimlessly, Kondo dropped the items and grabbed Yamazaki's shoulders. "What do you mean she was kidnapped?" He shook him like a rag doll.

Yamazaki went pale. His face was only inches away from his Commander's, and honestly, Kondo was scaring the living shit out of him right now. "Uh-Uhm..."

"It means that bad people, with bad intentions, took her somewhere-"

"Sougou-kun!" Kondo had anime tears falling down from his eyes rapidly, "Of course I know what _kidnapped _means! I'm not dumb!"

"..."

The other three stared at him.

"Well..."

"-At least you're not a woman..." Okita looked at Hijikata.

Hijikata twitched violently. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."

Kondo let go of Yamazaki and dropped to his knees. "My precious darling!" Kondo wrapped his arms around himself, and swayed back and forth.

Yamazaki and Hijikata slowly backed away from Kondo, who now looked like he was doing an interpretive dance or... ritual, of some sorts.

Hijikata sweat-dropped. "K-Kondo-san..."

"I think hes finally cracked..." whispered Yamazaki.

"I thought he already had," said Okita.

_Beep._

The four Shinsengumi members froze.

"That noise..." Hijikata mumbled.

_Beep._

The men all looked over towards the kitchen counter, where Hijikata's tracker lay.

* * *

><p>"You imbeciles!" The leader of Isa's kidnapping, Clovis, slammed his hands down on one of the metal tables in the camera room. "You lost her again!" He glared at his subordinates, anger showing in his black, metallic orbs.<p>

Among one of the many people Clovis was yelling at, was Dino, Clovis' assistant. It was actually his fault that they lost sight of Isa. He saw her running through the halls of the hideout not too long ago, and offered to help her hide from the rest of his co-workers. It took a little while to convince her, but in the end, she agreed to his offer.

Right now, she was currently hiding in one of the storage rooms on the second floor of the hideout, which was actually a pretty good place to hide. Even if they went in room Isa was in, they probably wouldn't find her because of the crap sprawled out all over the room. Those storage rooms were a _mess _these days. Dino figured that was the reason why nobody went in there anymore. He was also pleased with himself that he was able to avoid the cameras from catching the both of them. Dino was pretty nervious about that. He knew that there were people in the control room watching the cameras. If they saw even a glimpse of them, they would've been done for.

But luck seemed to be on their side today, and everything went smoothly.

Dino blew a few strands of his mop-like red hair out of his face, and fiddled with the small sword clip on his breast pocket. If Clovis found out what he had done, he would certainly not get away unpunished. Dino wasn't even sure why he had helped the girl in the first place. It was true he didn't agree with the higher up's plans to wipe out the Vorderseite family, but she was still supposed to be his enemy. Enemies aren't supposed to help each other.

"-o! Dino!"

The red head snapped out of his thoughts when one of his co-workers next to him, nudged him in the stomach. Dino's tail instantly straightened out, as he found himself face-to-face with his superior. And needless to say, Clovis did not look the least bit happy being ignored.

"S-Sorry, Sir!" Dino quickly bowed his head in apology at his blonde-haired captain.

Clovis looked at him intently, starting to get suspicious of his red-haired assistant. He had noticed the young man's slightly jumpy, and anxious behavior for a while now. Clovis wasn't stupid. He knew his assistant was up to something, and he would get to the bottom of it.

"Now, as I was saying, I want you all to search every inch of this place and find that girl. You may use force if you need to, but you must bring her back to me, _alive._" The man now had his back towards the men. "She can try to run and hide all she wants, but in the end, she and her family will be annihilated."

Dino gulped.

The blonde-haired man faced them once more, slightly annoyed. "What are you all standing here for? Go!"

Everyone quickly ran to the exit of the control room, their tails wagging behind them. Dino was one of the last people to leave the room, due to everyone trying to get through the door way at the same time. The red head sighed. _What are we all? Five?_

Unbeknownst to him though, Clovis eyed his back as he was leaving, and didn't look away until he was out of sight.

Once when Dino got out into the hall, he sprinted as fast as he could to the storage room, where he last left Isa. When he reached the hallway leading to his destination, he made sure to avoid all of the cameras and other co-workers that were on the same floor as him. And when Dino finally made it to the room, he was relieved to see that Isa was still there, just as he left her. Before she was taken to one of the Irre's many hideouts, he read her profile and saw that she has a tendency to run away/wander off. Thank god she didn't decide to do that now, otherwise it would've made things even more difficult than they already were.

"Hey, you! You're back!" Isa stood up from the floor and walked over to him. "Can I leave here now? This room smells even worse than Hijikata-san's! And trust me, thats _bad._"

Dino looked down at her, more like he had to, considering he was taller than her by quite a bit. "We need to leave this room fast. Its no longer a safe place for you to hide."

"What happened?"

"My captain has ordered all of my associates to search all over the hideout for you. Even if we hide here, we'll probably end up getting caught due to the fact that everyone is now looking for you in groups."

Isa pushed up the middle of her glasses. "How do you suppose we get out of here then?"

Dino sighed. "Thats what i'm trying to figure out right now." His gazed dropped to her lower arms. "Almost forgot but, how're your hands?"

"They're okay now and they don't hurt as much as they did before, thanks to the bandages you got for me." Isa started to wave her hands around in big circles to demonstrate how much they've healed.

Dino sweat-dropped. "...I dont think you should do that yet..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Then, as if light bulb went off in her head, she yelled, "Bing!"

The red head raised a brow. "What are you doing?"

Isa grinned. "I know how we can get out of here!"

"Eh?"

"We can travel through the vents!"

Dino put a hand to his chin. "Thats not a bad idea or anything, but its a little risky."

Isa's grin grew wider. "_I know!_"

* * *

><p>Outside of the Irre's hideout, which was located in a big forest outside of the city, were a number of men currently awaiting their next orders. It was night-time now, so the Irre soldiers guarding the front gate to the hideout, were currently unable to see them.<p>

"'Vice-Commander' to 'Hime', do you copy?" someone said into their walkie-talkie. A beep followed soon after the transmission.

The walkie-talkie made a static-like noise and a growl resounded through the device. _"Sougou! I refuse for my code name to be 'Hime'! And yours can't be 'Vice-Commander'! I'm the Vice-Commander!"_

"_This is 'Mother' speaking! Toshi/'Hime', stop acting like a sissy already!"_ came another voice, obviously Kondo's.

Okita smirked. "Yeah, be a man, '_Hime'_." he said into the walkie-talkie.

_"...'Vice-Commander' this is 'Hime',"_ Hijikata said through gritted teeth, "_You may proceed."_

"10-4."

Okita put the walkie-talkie in his pocket and faced his squad. "Alright, lets go."

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

**Okay guys, this chapter was extremely hard to write.** So, i'm sorry if its not that great. :(

ALSO, keep in mind that **it doesn't hurt to review**. Reviews like 'great chapter' or 'i like this one' etc, will make me extremely happy, even if it doesn't say a lot.

AND PLEASE, **tell me how I can fix this story in any way**. Honestly, I would really appreciate that a lot. Even if it criticizes my work, grammer, plot, usage of characters, or even the whole story, thats fine. JUST AS LONG as it says that I need to work on - (whatever you want to put in there). Or I should fix -. **Things like that would be very much appreciated!**


	13. Whats A Reunion

_"...'Vice-Commander' this is 'Hime',"_ Hijikata said through gritted teeth, _"You may proceed."_

"10-4."

Okita put the walkie-talkie in his pocket and faced his squad. "Alright, lets go."

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Eleven: Whats A Reunion Without An Angry Mob?<strong>

"Vents, vents, we're traveling through the vents~!" Isa sang happily. She had been killing his ears-_I mean_ using her vocal cords in a graceful manner for a total of five minutes now. And if Dino thought that this was bad, weeelllll, this was just the beginning. Isa continued to sing her song. "Vents, vents, metal-y box~es!"

Dino groaned. He was currently crawling through the ventilation system in front of Isa, who he now wished he was as far away from as possible. It may have only been five minutes, but this was torture. Isa was definately _not_ singing material. It sounded like a tone deaf, six year-old little girl was screaming right into his ears as loud as she could. _Loudly._

The girl started up her song again. "Vents, vents-"

"Stop!" Dino blurted out.

Isa stopped her movements and fell silent.

Dino looked behind him and started to panic. She looked like she was about to burst into tears. And it would be- All. His. Fault. Way to go, man. Smooth.

"Is my singing that bad?" She frowned. If indeed it was bad, she thought, then she'd been killing his ears unintentionally. That thought made her pretty sad, after all, Dino had been helping her this whole time.

"Ah-its just-I-" Dino stuttered. "I-I think that if you keep singing, someone might end up hearing us..."

Isa grinned. "Oh! That makes sense!"

Dino let out a sigh of relief. _Saved..._

"Alright! Let's keep moving, Tomato Head!"

The man sweat-dropped. "Tomato Head?"

"Yup!" She ruffled his hair like an owner would do to their dog. "Your new nickname!"

"H-Hey i'm not a dog-"

_Boom. _

The hideout shook from what seemed to be an explosion. Isa and Dino gripped the sides of the vents until the shaking stopped. When it did, Isa grabbed Dino's shoulders, and shook him back and forth.

"What the hell was that?" She cried, as her tail wagged in a frenzy.

"I dont know!"

_Boom._

Another one hit the hidehout and after the shaking stopped from the explosion, Dino started to wonder.

The red-head put a hand to his chin. "It seems that the explosions are coming from the north entrance of the hideout," he said.

Before Isa could open her lips to speak, a monotone male voice resounded through the intercom. _"Attention all Irre, this is a Code Red. I repeat, this is a Code Red. If you are in squads one, three and five, prepare for battle. If you are in squads two and four, continue your search with haste. That is all until further notice." _A beep soon followed after the voice.

Isa blinked. "Whats a 'Code Red'?"

Dino blew a few strands of hair out of his face and sighed. "It means we have intruders."

"Intruders?" Then a thought struck Isa. _What if its..._

_Boom. Boom._

More explosions continued to hit the hideout with great force.

"C'mon, we need to get out of here quickly! Its not safe!" Dino shouted to Isa, trying to make sure his words got to her over the loud rumbles and shocks the explosions were making.

"R-Right!" Isa shouted back.

The two quickly crawled through the ventilation system, looking for a vent plate they could escape from. After a minute or so more of searching, they finally found one and was able to slip their bodies through it. Unfortunately, the vent plate they escaped from was on the ceiling, which meant they fell quite a few feet to the ground.

Isa stuck her tongue out. "Bleh, that hurt." She rubbed the back of her head.

Dino, who was lying _right_ under the girl, groaned. "...It did...more than it should've..." He shifted a little, trying to pick up his face from the cracked ground.

Isa gasped and quickly got off of Dino, finally realizing that she fell on top of him. "Oh my god! Are you okay, TH?"

_TH? ...Oh right, Tomato Head..._ Dino twitched. "Never better." He gave her a crooked smile and a thumbs up, and then he...fainted.

The girl's jaw dropped. "Ah! TH!" She picked his head up from the ground and cradled it. "Live, my boy! Live!" she cried. But his head accidently slipped from her hands and she flinched when his head connected with the ground once more, making a _thump_.

"...Sorry.." she muttered, not that he could hear her anyways. Isa carefully took off Dino's black uniform jacket, leaving him in his button-up white shirt. She then folded the jacket and put it under the man's head as a pillow. "There! All better!" She grinned.

After examining the red-head to check for any more injuries, she decided to look at herself too. Her medium-length dark brown hair was a complete mess, her short-sleeved blue dress was ripped at the ends, making her dress look _way _shorter and her black converse now had holes in them. She sighed, thinking that she'd have to drag Yamazaki back to the mall with her to get new clothes. At least her hands were feeling better, but, they were still wrapped up in the white bandages Dino gave her. And the more she fiddled with the bandages, the more she realized that she wouldn't be seeing her hands without them for a while.

Isa examined her surroundings too. Just like the room they left, large cardboard boxes and other items were scattered around the floor of the room. She concluded it was, yet, another storage room. This also meant that they didn't make it very far across the second floor of the hideout. They were still a bit far from the entrance too. And Dino...well, fainted, so Isa had to wait for him to wake up. If she could, she would try to carry Dino, and hopefully be able to continue to move throughout the hideout. But, with the way she was now, that was impossible.

She was exhausted from the constant running, hiding and crawling she had been doing for the past couple of hours. She was also extremely hungry and thirsty too. And now the man who was possibly risking his life/job to help her, who she also became friends with, blacked out. Isa rubbed her forehead with one of her bandaged hands, slightly frustrated. Things couldn't get any worse.

And thats when a small explosion hit one of the walls of the room.

Okay, she thought, apparrantly it can.

Dark gray smoke from the blast covered the room like thick fog. Isa also felt rubble from the wall that had exploded from the blast fall around her. When the smoke started to clear out, Isa removed her arms that were protecting her face from the explosion. She opened her eyes slowly, and looked at the giant hole in the wall. Then a familiar figure came into her line of vision. Isa's eyes widened.

Brunette hair. Reddish-brown eyes. Bazooka in-hand. Monotone gaze.

Okita.

Isa got up from her feet and sprinted towards him. Okita didn't even have enough time to move or say anything because in just one second, she already had her arms wrapped around his neck in a tight hug. Okita was taken aback a little. Honestly, he really wasn't good at this sort of thing. So he just blinked and awkwardly put his arms halfway around her small waist. Soon, he got used to the hug and fully wrapped his arms around her. He _had_ missed her, although he would never admit that to anyone. He would also never admit that he enjoyed this hug quite a bit and secretly wished for more of them in the future.

Isa lightly cried into his shoulder, relieved to finally see him again. "Thank you for coming for me," she whispered.

Okita... well being Okita, not exactly the most romantic person out there and certainly not the most experienced, just plainly nodded. He then broke the hug and grabbed her shoulders, looking at her straight in the eye.

"Don't leave my sight again," he said.

Isa sighed dreamily and rubbed her hands against her face, thinking that Okita meant he wanted to be around her more.

Okita stared at her and then added, "More things like this will happen if i'm not watching you."

Isa twitched in disappointment but smiled anyway. "Whatever you say~!" she grinned.

"I'm serious."

The brown-haired girl folded her arms. "I know, I know. Who do you think I am?"

"An air-headed demon girl that has a habit of running away," he dead-panned.

"Pff, no! That's completely wrong!" she pouted. "And quite rude, might I say."

Okita ruffled her hair. Isa blinked as a blush started to appear on her cheeks. Well, she wasn't expecting that one. And she swore she saw Okita's lips twitch upwards a bit! Thats almost a smile! In the past month that she has gotten to know him, shes figured out that hes not really such a... 'smilely' person (neither was Hijikata).

_What an improvement!_ she thought.

As Isa was off into her thoughts, Okita took notice of her appearance. She looked like a complete mess. Her dress was ripped, and he frowned at the possibilities why. He also noticed that her hands were wrapped up in bandages. Okita mentally slapped himself, thinking again that it was his fault that she was in this state.

A static-like noise came from Okita's pocket, snapping them both out of their thoughts. "_Hey! Any of you find that idiot yet?_"

"Ohhh! Was that Hijikata-san?" Isa clapped her hands together in delight. "Hijikata-san! Where are you!" she shouted around the room.

"..." Okita stared at her for a few seconds and then took out a walkie-talkie from his pocket.

Isa looked at the device in his hand and raised a brow. "Whats that?"

Okita gave her a look but then quickly remembered that she didn't have things like that in her planet. Then he briefly started to wonder if her planet was living in an era some-what similar to the stone-age.

_"Hey, you assholes! Why aren't you answering?" _Hijikata's voice resounded through the small electronic device.

"Oh! Its like a cell-phone, right?" She grabbed the device from Okita and started to yell at it, thinking that Hijikata could hear her.

"Its something like that, except you have to hold a button down for the other person to hear you..."

"I hate your guts!" She yelled happily again at the walkie-talkie, not really listening to Okita's explanation.

Okita sighed and held down a button in the middle of the walkie-talkie. "_Now_ say something."

_"Sougou! What are you talking about? And why haven't you been-"_

"Hijikata-san! I've missed your constant moody attitude!" Isa started to tear up again. "I'm glad you still sound like you're on your period!"

Hijikata growled into the walkie-talkie. _"Shut up and tell me where you are."_

Okita took back the walkie-talkie from Isa and pushed down on the button again. "That wasn't very nice of you, 'Hime'. Ask again in a more friendly tone please."

Isa laughed. "'Hime'?"

_"Sougou..."_

The brunette sighed. "Fine." His eyes scanned around the room. "It looks like we're in a storage room."

_"So that means you're on the second floor. Lets meet up by the stairs leading to the first. If you're where that last explosion hit, it should be just down the hall."_

"Roger," said Okita. He then put the walkie-talkie in his pocket, grabbed Isa's hand and expertly guided her out of the room.

"Wait!" Isa tugged back on Okita's hand. "I need to do something first! Do you have a pen and some paper?"

Okita was about to ask her why but decided against it, wanting to get to Hijikata as fast as possible. He took out a small scrap of paper and a black pen he stole from the Vice-Commander. "What are you planning on doing?"

Isa took the items from him. "Don't worry! I'll be right back!" She quickly ran back into the storage room and went over to the red-head that was still lying on the floor like a corpse. She kneeled down to his level and wrote something on the piece of paper. When she was done, she stuck the piece of paper into his pants' pocket and ran back out of the room to Okita.

He raised a brow. "What was that about?"

"Don't worry about it." Isa smiled. "I just wish I could've thanked him differently though..."

Okita was completely lost. "Who?"

Isa grinned. "Nevermind." She grabbed his hand. "We have to go find Hijikata right? Lets go!"

Okita nodded and ran down the hall with Isa. When they reached the end of the path, they spotted Hijikata and Yamazaki walking down the stairs.

"Hijikata-san! Yamazaki-kun!" Isa ran up to them and hugged them as hard as she could.

Hijikata struggled to break free from her grasp. "Agh-you idiot girl! Let go!" he yelled.

"No! Its been forever since i've last seen you two!" She squeezed them both even harder.

Yamazaki started to turn blue. "I-Isa...let go...please.."

"Whatever you say, my love!" She then released them from her death grip.

Hijikata and Yamazaki fell to the ground and were both happy to have air in their lungs again.

However, Okita frowned because he was secretly hoping that Isa would strangle them both to death. _Pity..._ he thought.

"You psycho..." Hijikata slowly got up from the ground. "I didn't miss you at all."

Said psycho squeeled. "Aww! I missed you too!"

"Thats not what I said!"

_"Heeeey!"_ a familiar voice shouted towards them.

The three all turned around and were greeted by a sprinting Kondo, whos face currently looked extremely constipated, and at least thirty Irre members trailing behind him. Great. This was exactly what they needed.

"C-Commander..." Yamazaki mumbled.

"What the hell! Don't come this way if they're chasing you!"

Tears flung from Kondo's eyes. "I'm scared Toshi!"

The only thing Hijikata could do at this point was face-palm. So he did. And soon Hijikata, Isa, Okita, and Yamazaki all ended up having to run with Kondo.

"Isa-chan, my darling! You're safe!" Kondo made an attempt to hug her while running.

"Uhm, Commander! I don't think thats the best thing to do right now!" yelled Yamazaki.

"For once, Yamazaki is actually right!" Hijikata yelled out to them, slightly panting now.

Isa started to pant hard. "I-I cant..." Her pace slowed down rapidly and she soon fell behind the others. Her body was completely shutting down right now. The lack of food and drink, sleep, and rest was now coming back to hit her at full force. And at a bad time too.

Noticing that she was falling behind, Okita quickly turned on his heel and ran back for Isa, who was now struggling to even move her legs. When he made it to her, he scooped her up in his arms and tried to catch up with the others. Isa only had one eye barely open now. She gripped Okita's shirt and muttered a quiet apology before she blacked out completely.

"H-Hey!"

"Quiet Yamazaki. She just fainted from exhaustion," Okita said monotonously.

Yamazaki sweat-dropped. _How can he talk so calmly in a situation like this!_

Hijikata glanced back at the mob of angry men wielding swords, guns, and other deadly equipment. "Looks like we'll have to use Plan R!"

"Whats Plan R?"

"Yamazaki! Why didn't you pay attention when we went over this!" Hijikata yelled.

"With everything thats been happening, I forgot!" Yamazaki blinked. "Ah no, now I remember!"

**Plan R**

**Run. Like. Hell.**


	14. The Insanity

**OMGOMGGOGMG! I'm really sorry guys...it's been a year since i've updated this story. The reason why, of course, was because of this chapter. Originally when I had started writing it a year ago, I just wasn't happy with the way how it turned out. I re-wrote this chapter at least five times, and because of that, I just slowly started losing interest in writing this story. But fear not, (to those who hopefully will still read this story), I am back. And I plan to stick around this time until I finish this thing!**

**And thank you to the reviews I got during my extremely long absence!**

**Mitskuni15: I'm really glad you like it! And yes, I will be continuing it, I just have to stop being so freakin' lazy. **

**blueberry761: Thanks! And don't worry, here it is! (if you're still reading this story)**

**Anonymous: Dude, make an account on here already! (though if you're reading this, you probably already have) And i'm very glad you like my OC! **

**sweetchill: Sorry to keep you waiting!**

**Fruitlessberry: I really appreciate your critique and will definitely try to use better details from now on! And yes, she will eventually meet Katsura and Elizabeth. I've been thinking about it recently and they will most likely meet pretty soon.**

**a-whisper-to-a-riot: You're so sweet! And i'm really glad you like my story! Actually (if you're still reading this story), you will meet one of them very soon. _Very_ soon. **

**Welp that's it. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

_**Though if you must know, I still don't like the way how I wrote it...**_

* * *

><p>Hijikata glanced back at the mob of angry men wielding swords, guns, and other deadly equipment. "Looks like we'll have to use Plan R!"<p>

"Whats Plan R?"

"Yamazaki! Why didn't you pay attention when we went over this!" Hijikata yelled.

"With everything thats been happening, I forgot!" Yamazaki blinked. "Ah no, now I remember!"

**Plan R**

**Run. Like. Hell.**

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Twelve: The Insanity Never Stops!<strong>

Everything was black. Isa couldn't see anything, nor could she move. Her body felt heavy, almost as if something or someone was sitting on her, preventing her from moving. Another thing she noticed, was that she couldn't speak either. She tried to move, to speak, or to see _something_, but her body just wasn't cooperating with her. It was weird. She couldn't seem to remember anything either. Her thoughts were in a mess too.

_Where is everyone?_

_Where am I?_

_Is this a dream?_

Then she felt something push her forward, pulling her out of her current state. Her eyes snapped open and she jumped up from her sitting position against a tree. But because she sat up so fast, her mind was in a frenzy. Her vision was blurry and her ears were ringing. Isa groaned and held her head in her hands. She felt someone knelt down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

"-a."

Isa could hear them speaking, but her ears still weren't working properly. The voice sounded familiar, even though it was still slightly inaudible to her.

"-sa." Her vision started to clear up, and the annoying sound in her ears soon went away.

"Isa."

Finally realizing that her name was being called, she stared up at the owner of the voice and met with dull, reddish-brown eyes. Isa blinked, her brain eventually processing that she was just centimeters away from Okita's face. They sat there for at least thirty seconds just staring at each other, before Isa finally spoke up.

"Okita-kun..."

Isa's demon-like ears perked up as a grin slowly crept onto her face. Okita sighed and closed his eyes, bracing himself for her attack-I mean hug. But after a few seconds had passed and nothing happened, he became confused. So he slowly opened his eyes, and when he opened them completely, they widened at the sight in front of him. Isa was _smiling_, not the silly grin she always had plastered on her face, a real one. A _real_ smile. Okita soon snapped out of his surprised form when Isa put one of her bandaged hands on top of his head and ruffled his short brown hair.

He just didn't get it, he understand her. It was weird. _She_ was weird. Why was she smiling?

And why did his face feel slightly warm?

"Isa! You're awake!" A familiar black-haired man stalked towards them, maneuvering around the thick green bushes that covered the ground of the forest.

Turning their heads toward Yamazaki, Okita's expression returned back to its normal blank state and Isa grinned at the sight of her old shopping buddy.

"Are you feeling better?" Yamazaki asked, stopping in front of the two.

"Yep! Just a bit tired, my young one!" Isa declared, standing up from her spot on the ground, Okita soon joining her.

Yamazaki sweat-dropped. "'Young one'? I'm older than you-"

"Age is just a number, my young boy!"

_...'My young boy'?_ Yamazaki sighed, while Okita just shook his head. _Same old Isa..._

Finally noticing that she was no longer trapped in the white, concrete walls of the Irre's hideout, Isa examined her surroundings. "Where are we?"

"We're in a forest roughly around 45 miles from Edo." Okita stuck his hands in his pockets. "After you fainted, those demon people started to catch up with us."

Yamazaki nodded. "We thought about fighting, but there were just too many of them, so we kept running. Those guys were pretty fast too." Yamazaki tiredly ran a hand through his hair. "Luckily though, when we made it out of their headquarters, we hid in the trees for several hours and somehow managed to lose them."

"Oh.." Isa didn't know what to say. Because of her, they got involved in her stupid family affairs and almost died. She looked down at her worn out pair of converse and frowned. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't apologize." Yamazaki smiled. "We all came to save you because we wanted to, not because it was our job." _Except for maybe Hijikata..._

Isa wiped away the silent tears that fell from her eyes and took Yamazaki and Okita's hands into hers. She smiled and closed her eyes, breathing in the fresh air the forest had to offer. She slowly reopened them and wore a large smile on her face.

"Thank you. Just the fact that you came for me really means a lot."

Yamazaki winked. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Isa grinned, "Of course!" She then put a hand to her chin and thought for a moment. "Was it just you guys who came?"

Okita shook his head. "We brought my squad with us." Noticing that she was scanning the area for them, he added, "They're with the Commander."

"Ah..."

"Oi! What are you three standing around for?" Hijikata called out to them, appearing behind a nearby tree. "If you're awake and can move around brat, then help us look for a way out of here," he said, walking towards them.

Isa gasped. "Don't call Yamazaki a brat, Hijikata-san!"

Hijikata twitched. "I need a cigarette..."

Yamazaki laughed nervously, "I think he meant you, Isa."

"Nope. He meant you, Yamazaki," Okita said casually.

"Me? I don't understan-"

"Don't smoke, you wench!"

The cigarette that sat between Hijikata's lips fell from his mouth. "Wench? What the hell!"

Isa pushed up the middle of her black-rimmed glasses and crossed her arms. "We're out in nature. Be respectful."

Okita pulled out a small notebook and a pen. "'Wench'...I'll have to keep that one in mind," he mumbled, scribbling on the paper.

"You two..." Hijikata gritted his teeth.

Noticing that the air around the Vice-Commander dropped several degrees, Yamazaki started to back up, not wanting to get involved in the situation. But Yamazaki being...well, Yamazaki, tripped on a rock while walking backwards and fell on his back with a large _thud._

Okita loomed over him. "Useless..."

Hijikata joined him. "I almost feel bad for him..."

Yamazaki just lied on the ground with a depressed aura surrounding him. "I can hear you guys...and weren't you all just fighting a second ago?"

"Don't worry, my little boy!" Isa rushed to Yamazaki and knelt down beside him.

Yamazaki didn't even bother with the name she had given him this time and just stayed in his current position. But when she started undoing his Shinsengumi jacket, his choked on his own spit and quickly sat up from his position on the ground, pushing her hands away from him.

"I-Isa...what are you doing?" He asked nervously.

"I'm going to save you!" She pushed him roughly back down on his back and completely ripped his jacked open with her bandaged hands.

Yamazaki panicked from her action, feeling slightly exposed. "I don't understand!"

Isa gave Yamazaki a serious look. "Don't be scared. Its just CPR. You'll feel better in no time!"

Now Yamazaki was extremely confused. "I don't need CPR! Wait, do you even know what that is-"

"Shhhh," Isa silenced Yamazaki by putting her fingers on his mouth. "It'll be over soon! I promise! Just be strong until then!"

"What the-Ack-st-sto-p-!"

Isa pounded his chest with her hands hard, over and over again with great strength. Although she was supposedly trying to help him, Yamazaki looked like he was dying rather than being 'saved'.

"Should we help him?" Hijikata asked, staring at Isa pounding the crap out of Yamazaki.

Okita put his hands in his pockets and thought for a moment. "Hmmm...maybe when it gets boring."

Hijikata raised a brow. "Wait, if shes doing CPR, doesn't that mean that she's going to-"

_Twenty-seven, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty! _After doing thirty chest compressions, Isa mentally prepared herself. She read a book on First Aid when she was younger, so she remembered what to do in situations like these (even if it was completely unnecessary, like now). After you execute thirty chest compressions to a person, you have to give them two breaths, followed by another thirty compressions. Isa looked down at Yamazaki, who at this point looked he had been run over by a train more than once, and took a deep breath and started to lean down slowly.

But as soon as their noses were almost touching, a loud high-pitched scream stopped Isa from moving further.

Meanwhile, not far away from them, the other two were up to their usual antics. "Sougou! What are you doing!" Hijikata yelled while trying to pry Okita's left hand away from his right arm. His poor limb was currently being held in a death grip, and not only was he quickly loosing feeling in it, he thought he heard a few cracks. He was no doctor, but he knew that wasn't exactly a good sign...

Okita on the other hand, wasn't listening at all. He just stood there with a frown on his face, staring at the two idiots who were sitting on the grass. Well-one was sitting, the other was sprawled out unconcsious on the ground, looking very similar to someone who just got hit by a car and died.

Hijikata, tired of being ignored, started to get pissed. No matter what profanity he threw at Okita, he still wouldn't let go of him, or even respond to him at all. He groaned, beginning to think that cutting off his or Okita's arm was the only solution to being free from his iron grip. Lucky for him though, Okita soon released his arm when Isa had called out to them, seemingly waking him up.

"Hijikata-san! Okita-kun!" The men both directed their attention to her. "Come over here!"

Okita blinked and casually strolled over to Isa with his usual dead-pan expression, leaving Hijikata completely dumb-founded and angry. Wasn't he practically crushing his arm just moments ago?

The Vice-Commander rubbed his almost-broken arm softly. _I need to go to the gym...badly..._ he grumbled.

"Did you hear that?"

Okita shook his head. "Hear what?"

Isa put a hand to her chin. "I thought I heard someone scream."

"I didn't hear anything." But then again, Okita wasn't exactly paying attention to anything a minute ago.

Then they heard it. It was the same high-pitched scream Isa had heard the first time. It was louder than the last, and also sounded strangely familiar.

"Oi," Hijikata came up from behind Isa and Okita, "Doesn't that sound kind of like-"

"Gorilla-chan!" Isa pointed to the direction in the woods where they heard the scream.

And sure enough, there Kondo was in all his monkey-like glory. He was sprinting towards them at full speed and didn't stop until he got in front of Hijikata, and tackled him to the ground.

Kondo whimpered. "Toshi! It was terrible!" He hugged Hijikata tightly.

"Gah! Get off of me!" Hijikata yelled.

"I wish I had my phone with me," Isa pouted. "Otherwise I could have taken a picture of this and used it to blackmail Hijikata-san in the future."

"Ah," Okita patted his pants pockets and sighed. "I forgot to bring mine." He looked Hijikata and Kondo rolling around on the ground. "Pity..."

A vein popped out of Hijikata's forehead. "I can hear you two!" He growled and looked at 'superior', who was currently latched onto his chest. "And would you let go of me already!"

Kondo sniffled. "Toshi! You don't understand!"

"Maybe I could if you would get off of me!"_  
><em>

"Don't yell at him Hijikata-san!" Isa bent down to Kondo's level and pat his head gently. "Tell Isa whats wrong, Gorilla-chan," she said softly.

"Well after Toshi left me to go back to check on you guys, I was going to take a leak-"

"Do we really need to hear this?" Okita cut in flatly.

"Yes! Its important!"

"Then get on with it!" Hijikata yelled, still being held down by Kondo.

"Well as I was saying, I was going to take a leak."

"We gathered."

Kondo ignored Okita's comment and continued, "And that's when it happened..."

Isa perked up. "Are we having a flash back?"

"Yes, my dear!"

Hijikata heaved a long sigh. "Great..."

_A few minutes after Hijikata left, Kondo started hearing footsteps coming toward him. Kondo let out a loud laugh and yelled, 'Back so soon?', thinking it was Hijikata coming back from checking on the others. But when he didn't get a response, and stopped hearing the footsteps, he turned around and saw that nothing was there. Kondo ignored it the first time it happened, thinking his mind was just playing tricks on him. Or thought that the heat was causing him to hallucinate. But after it happened once more, he started to panic. He looked in every direction but didn't see the black-haired male he was hoping to._

_"T-Toshi? If you're there, or whoever you are, c-come out!" Kondo stuttered out._

_Kondo immediately stiffened after he heard the bushes behind him rustle. He slowly turned around to inspect them, and when he found nothing, he sighed in relief. But that moment was cut short when something jumped out of the bushes and landed right on his face. Kondo screamed of course, and soon stopped after he realized that it was just a small frog that attacked him._

_The commander let out a deep breath and calmed himself down before plucking the small frog off his face and setting it on the ground in front of him._

_"Ha-ha...you scared me there for a minute, little buddy," he muttered to the frog. Kondo sat on the ground and rubbed that back of his head, deciding that it was probably time for him to go back and find Okita's squad._

_However, the second he turned around and started to get back on his feet again, his eyes met with dark beast-like orbs. Kondo instantly screamed and didn't even bother to look at the owner of the eyes, for he ran off into the opposite direction of the 'terrible beast'._

_Okita's squad, who saw Kondo sprint past them, gave their Commander questioning looks before shrugging and going back to their posts assigned by Okita. Yup, their Commander was a weird one, alright._

"And that's what happened!" Kondo said, finally removing himself from Hijikata's torso.

"So you saw a monster?"

"Not just any monster, my darling!" Kondo grabbed Isa's shoulders and stared into her eyes. "It was a dragon!"

Okita and Hijikata only gave Kondo a blank stare and decided that it would be best if they didn't say anything to their deranged Commander. Even Isa had a 'wtf' look on her face. That's saying something. Seriously.

After a minute of silence, Okita decided to change the subject. "So...where is my squad?"

"They were eaten by the dragon!"

"..."

He was definitely on acid.

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><p><strong>END OF CHAPTAAHHH.<strong>

**Anyways, I felt like this chapter was really weird. But I think that I just need some time to get used to writing this again. Also, I just want you guys to know, the 'dragon' or whatever kooky kondo was going on about, will be in the next chapter. Because...its important.**

**;) Good day.**


	15. If One Sibling Is Insane

"So you saw a monster?"

"Not just any monster, my darling!" Kondo grabbed Isa's shoulders and stared into her eyes. "It was a dragon!"

Okita and Hijikata only gave Kondo a blank stare and decided that it would be best if they didn't say anything to their deranged Commander. Even Isa had a 'wtf' look on her face. That's saying something. Seriously.

After a minute of silence, Okita decided to change the subject. "So...where is my squad?"

"They were eaten by the dragon!"

"..."

He was definitely on acid.

* * *

><p><strong>Attempt Thirteen: If One Sibling Is Insane, the Other Is Too!<strong>

"I think you should lay down for a while, Kondo-san..." Hijikata grabbed Kondo by the shoulders and started leading him in the shade of a near by tree.

"I know what I saw, you jerk!" Kondo whirled around and clasped Hijikata's hands in his. "Don't you believe me Toshi?" The Commander whimpered, putting on the best puppy dog face he could muster.

Hijikata cringed at the face he made and tore the male's hands off of his. "No!" He back away from him. "And stop making that face. Its making me feel really uncomfortable..."

"You mean its turning you on," Okita concluded.

Hijikata choked on his own spit.

Isa gasped. "Hijikata-san is gay? And for Gorilla-chan? I knew it!"

"I never knew you felt that way about me, Toshi!" Kondo put a hand over his heart, feeling touched.

"It certainly explains why he was getting _handsy_ with you earlier," Okita said, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You bastard! I was just trying to help him!" Hijikata snapped.

"Yeah, 'help' him..." Isa winked and nudged Hijikata's arm.

The older male only rubbed his forehead, clearly feeling annoyed. "I was only getting him out of the sun."

Okita raised a brow. "So you could do what to him?"

Hijikata twitched. "_To get him out of the sun_! He's clearly going crazy!"

Isa smirked. "Or maybe you're the one that's going crazy. Crazy for Gorilla-chan."

"I-I don't know what to say..." Kondo looked at his dirt-covered boots and fiddled with his fingers.

The Vice-Commander growled. "I'm not going crazy for him!" He then turned to a blushing Kondo. "And why are you acting like a love-sick high school girl!?"

Okita was about to make fun of Hijikata some more but stopped when he heard the sound of twigs snapping behind him.

Noticing that Okita was silent, Isa tilted her head. "Whats wrong?"

The brown-haired male only silenced her by putting a finger to his lips. He definitely heard something. Maybe Kondo was right, he thought. Though, he highly doubted that it was a 'dragon', as he claimed it to be. It could just be an animal after all, they were in a forest. Finding a few animals here and there wouldn't be unusual at all.

Kondo tensed. "See! I told you it was a dragon!"

Hijikata face-palmed. "Dragons don't exist."

"If she exists," he pointed to the demon girl, "dragons can too!"

Isa's pointy ears twitched. "Why are you comparing my race to dragons?"

The three momentarily stopped their bickering when they heard more noises coming from the same area they were investigating. They could faintly hear leaves crunching, getting louder with every passing second, signaling to them that someone or _something_ was coming toward them.

Okita and Hijikata both immediately grabbed the hilt of their swords. Okita then moved to position himself in front of Isa while Hijikata stood in the front of the group. Meanwhile, Kondo shrieked and hid behind Isa, who surprisingly wore a serious face for once and put up her bandaged hands, ready for a fight.

When the foot steps finally came to a halt behind a bush, the four held their breaths, preparing themselves. Maybe it was a man from Okita's squad?

Hijikata narrowed his eyes. _Worst case scenario, its one of those Irre bastards,_ he thought.

Or maybe...it was an interesting looking man riding a pristine white horse backwards.

_Wait, what?_

Hijikata blinked once, then twice, and then finally snapped. "What the fuck!"

Yup, that's right. Out from behind those bushes was a man with shaggy pitch black hair that was mostly covered by the white top hat he wore on his head. His hat had a pink ribbon tied around it, holding a few colorful flowers up on the side. He wore a white suit with a pink-collared shirt, white dress shoes, white gloves and had a white bow tie that he all seemed to wear proudly.

The man looked to be about in his mid-twenties. He was pale, and had dark slanted eyes that held mystery and something else Hijikata couldn't quite put his finger on. His pointy ears and black tail suggested that he was of demon race like Isa. But _for god's sake__, _what was with this man and the color white? Hijikata thought he looked like a tacky magician. However, despite his strange outfit, it wasn't even the weirdest part of this man's peculiar appearance.

It was the fact that he was riding his horse backwards.

"Howdy," he said with a smirk, tipping his hat at them.

Okita blinked and then turned to Kondo. "So...how did you confuse _that_," he pointed to the weird man, "with a dragon?"

Kondo peeked his head out from behind Isa's shoulder and inspected the man. "T-The b-beast he's riding..."

"You mean the _horse__?" _Hijikata glared at him.

"Well Toshi, at t-the time, i-it looked like...I guess I never r-really did get a g-good look at it..." Kondo stuttered out while rubbing the back of his head.

"Oh! Are you guys talking about Sally?" The man grinned, showing one of his fangs, and gestured to the horse he was currently riding on.

Hijikata snorted at the girly name. "_Sally?_"

"Lovely name, right?" The man put his hands on his hips and his nose in the air. "I was the one who found and named this beautiful creature-"

"Why don't you just get a car?" Okita cut in plainly.

"And why aren't you riding it correctly? This isn't an Old Spice commercial!"

The man arched a brow. "Old Spice? What's that?"

"Brother..."

The four men turned to look at Isa, who looked like she was about to cry at any moment.

"Brother?" Hijikata gawked. She was related to him? _No wonder_, he thought. It perfectly explained why the girl was insane.

The man in white hopped off his horse and started skipping toward the girl with a gleeful grin on his face. "Isa-chan, I know you missed me but there's no need to cry-"

A shoe then promptly collided with his face.

Isa glared at her older brother who was currently kneeling over on the ground, tending to his now-bloody nose.

But despite the fact that his nose was bleeding, he still had the silly grin on his face. "Please try to contain your happiness of my arrival, my dear sister." He stood up from his spot on the grass and inspected her. Her short brown hair was a mess, the ends of her blue summer dress were slightly ripped, and the one converse she was wearing now on her left foot was worn out and had several holes in them. She also had bags under her eyes, he noticed, almost making her look like a zombie if her black-rimmed glasses weren't covering the dark circles. At least she wasn't injured.

"It seems you've been doing fine here." His gaze dropped to her bandaged hands, which were still wounded from when she punched the wall to escape from her cell. "Except for your hands, I suppose. But it's nothing I can't fix."

She looked at him levelly. "Why are you here?"

He closed one of his dark eyes lazily, peering at her with the other. "Not very happy to see me?"

Isa's ears flattened against her face. "It's not that...it's just..." she trailed off.

"Excuse me," Kondo eagerly walked up to her brother. "I absolutely love your style! It's very unique and manly!"

"Kondo-san..." Hijikata resisted the urge to slap his superior. _Unique?_ Yes. _Manly?_ Absolutely not. Just looking at the man's outfit made his eyes hurt.

"Why thank you! I'm glad someone here has a good sense of fashion!"

Hijikata sighed. "They really _are _insane..." he muttered.

Isa smiled lightly at the sight of her brother talking to Kondo. He and Hijikata were also chatting a bit too! Well, actually, Hiikata only gave them one word replies and he looked like he'd rather be anywhere but here...still, it was quite a scene.

But what was her brother doing here anyways? Of course she was happy to see him (even though she threw her shoe at him). She was also very happy that he seemed to be doing well too. She just had a feeling that he didn't come here just to see her. He wasn't a bad brother or anything like that, the man was just, simply put, one big mystery. He's unreadable, almost like a puzzle. He's hardly ever serious, and he always treats everything like a game.

_Just like a child, _she mused.

Isa frowned, realizing that there was a lot she didn't know about her brother.

However, everything he does has a purpose, that, she knew.

_Something must have happened._

"Are you okay?"

Isa turned her head to Okita and gave him a forced smile. "Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

Okita only stared at her, his reddish-brown eyes boring into hers. He didn't believe her and she knew it. He had only known her for a while but he could read her like an open book. The girl may be unpredictable, but she was a terrible liar.

Isa put a few strands of her brown hair behind her ear and sighed. "I'm just tired," she half-lied.

Fortunately for her, he seemed to accept her answer and nodded his head.

The two then just stood there in silence, which was pretty odd for Okita, since he knew how much of a chatter-box Isa was. She always had something to talk about, that's why he knew she was upset. Whether it was about the next prank she was thinking about pulling on Hijikata or just talking about random things shes encountered so far during her stay on earth, there was always something that would make her run her mouth off to him.

As he was thinking about her, he moved, like his body had a mind of its own.

He slowly walked closer to her and grabbed her hand, holding it gently in his own.

"Whatever you're upset about...don't think about it too much," he said, looking straight ahead at the other three men chatting. "Just stay positive like you usually do."

Isa's eyes widened at his action and let his words slowly sink into her brain.

"Okita-kun,"

He turned to look at her and was surprised to see her wearing a bright expression.

Isa squeezed his hand softly and gave him a gentle smile. "Thank you," she said, then turned her head back to look at the others.

After staring at her for another moment or two, he looked in the same direction as her and gently squeezed her hand back.

"Oi!" Hijikata called over to them, making Okita quickly let go of Isa's hand before they could see. "Are you two idiots going to stand there all day or are you going to help us get out of here?"

Okita stuck his hands in his pockets and strode over to Hijikata. "Right, the faster we get back, the more time you get to spend with Kondo-san-"

"Shut up!" Hijikata glared at him.

"I can help you with that."

Everyone's eyes turned to Isa's brother, who had a mysterious smile on his face.

Hijikata furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

The man in white skipped over to Hijikata and grabbed his shoulders from behind. "Do you believe in magic?" he asked, leaning his chin on Hijikata's shoulder.

Hijikata ignored how close the man was to him and scoffed. "Of course not."

The man narrowed his eyes with interest. "And why is that?"

"Because it's ridiculous. Only fools believe in that kind of stuff," he crossed his arms.

Isa's brother sighed dramatically and moved to get back on his horse. "How times have changed..." he said disappointedly.

"Ah, he's on his horse backwards again," Okita dead-panned.

Kondo put a hand to his chin in thought. "It must be a new trend!" He turned to Hijikata. "Toshi! Next time we patrol, lets use our horses and ride them like that!"

Hijikata twitched. "No. Just no."

Isa looked at her older brother worriedly. "What are you planning?"

He only winked at her and laughed. "Nothing bad, I promise." He closed his eyes and removed his top hat with his left hand and put it over his chest. "Now, I believe I forgot to introduce myself," He then held out his right hand and snapped it.

Suddenly a huge blinding white light engulfed the five of them, making them cover their eyes with their hands and arms.

"My name is Hugo."


End file.
